so i was away for almost a week. week full of work, and practice. wonder what practice? almost everything. from dancing to homework. dancing is for National Day. the sports CCA are supposed to perform. so yea, thats what we've chowen. and guess what? our item is going to be the finale! but we're not dancers, so i dont think we will do a better job than them. well, maybe some of us will be better. who knows? hidden talents everywhere. HAHA.

i was really afraid of failing AMaths test. so had to get help at home. asked many people to teach me, and i found that person. ZHIGANG! totally saved my life. webcam with him last night, and he taught me quite a lot. unfortunately, something is wrong with his webcam, left him freezing in that box but i can hear him. so he went to bed, i did a few questions which were not solved.

he called me this morning. yea, he promised to wake me up and meet up teach me. so yea, i got up, went to meet him at McDonald's. he was already there when i reach. about 6am. omg, imagine how early. so he taught me what i dont know. can i find another friend like him? he lent me his calculator to taught me how to check certain questions. okay, i wouldnt score more than this if it wasnt for him. okay, so he told me he has to go to school in 5 minutes. i agreed, after this question. but i took like so long, and he keep explaining it to me till i understand. and he was late for councillor, and i made him write 300 words reflection.

flag raising in class, it was going to rain, and the lightning risk alert was on. back to class. since we have MdmChan as our form teacher, things couldnt be any better. she is the best teacher i swear.

AMaths test was alright. thanks to Zhigang. i know i wouldnt score full marks, but i know i can pass. MsChua gave our Chemistry test paper back today. oh yea, no distinction but a pass. i was reading Hafiz's "novel" pieces during MT. the story lines were creative, but grammar is totally off. even i know. oh Hafiz, you got to work on that. at least make it invisible for me. haha. okay, i was sneezing alot today. since morning till now. and blocked nose, and i cant smell the rain. dammit. well, Xinpei laughed like theres no tomorrow after my every sneeze. ROFL.

rehearsal. finally got the ending after a week. the only thing left for us to do now is our remaining part that havent been learnt and to perfect it. and yea, we're done. FINALE OF THE NATIONAL DAY CONCERT WRS 2010. haha.

you people better be excited. COS I'M DANCING! HAHA.

alright, its going to be a long day for me tomorrow, goodbye.

ps, i cant breathe now. fuck.

so much to do right now. AMaths and EMaths. Geography test tomorrow if MrsChuah remembers. and i'm only done with some of AMaths and EMaths textbook questions. thank god it was raining this morning, so we didnt have PE. i hate PE now. hockey just suck. reason is because its in the feild. since there were no PE, MsGan held an EMath lesson for Vivacions. im quite thankful for that, it certainlycleared some of my doubts, but i got confused at times. just need more practice. throughout the day, i think i did pretty well in staying awake in class. haha. how did i do that?

okay, nothing much for today, just a normal school day. okay, there were many jokes from Alphonsus during english lesson today. we were to read Oral Communication, and some would go up to tell the class what is it about. Alphonsus definitely was one of them. okay, pick out one of the jokes i remember. Alphonsus " so you need to build a topic." MsGomez stopped him. "how to build?" he continued. silencea while. " let me tell you a joke. how to build. *raises his hand near his ear, acting as a phone" call bob the builder". okay, it doesnt sound funny here, but i swear, the whole class was laughing. how lucky that im still in the same class as him. he's one reason i go to school. you know? he always keep me entertained with something he made that seem so simple. i can never do that.

alright, so this is a draft from last night, when the internet was cut.

this is driving me crazy. the internet is just off earlier and earlier everyday. it was 12, and now it 11.55. then sooner itll be 11.50, the 11.45 then eventually, i dont need to use the internet anymore.

about yesterday, went to school for training. uncle drove me to school. oh well, i thought i was late, but i was uber early. saw Coach, MsLim, Chaoxin, Xinpei and Yingjie. coach was like, "why are you so late? morning training you know? training over already leh. afternoon is sec ones. join them lor.v" and all of them stared at me. i knew it was a prank. i was like, " no ah, Chaoxin never sms me what. its afternoon. Xinpei also still in her cullotes. dont lie lah." okay, they were like, really, serious and all. so i took out my phone, check the text again. no changes. they were laughing then. changes, training starts at 2.30. i was more than an hour early. so we were chatting. a while, Huili came. i think about 1.30. coach used the same trick. she was even more shocked than i was. actually, she totally believed her. and she almost cried. okay, her tears were at the brim of her eyes. well, she was the last one to be tricked. i was the first.

so we sat there, and theres a car, parking. coach said Janice was driving. MsLim didnt know which Janice. okay, Janice, our senior! she's driving! OMFG. jealous jealous. okay, coach's team came too. they were sharing the hall with us. i didnt do well today. my spiking sucked. like so much okay? i cant thunder any. only straight balls. that aint good enough. i dont hear "nice ball" or "hao qiu" while there were so many for the others. but i strongly disagree with some balls. not mentioning the spiker, that ball she spiked was way uglier than mine, but i hear two or three people saying "hao qiu", while my best spike of today was not even complimented once. i believe mine was much nicer. it would be nice to hear someone complimenting you. okay, despite the suckiness of my performance today, i didnt cry, as said. i think i shall say this to myself everytime before training. its going to help me, and my teammates a lot. alright, its not the end of the world. there is still time for me to do better.

ps, i feel really discouraged.

went to UWC for WBA once again. after 2 weeks. and hell yeah, theres air-con once again! haha. but guess what, theres no light. in the toilet. i was fucking urgent, and the the lights simply just ignore me. but it was blardy cold in there. i want to go in and chill a while, but i dare not. its so creepy, the walk way to the cubicles are just too long. plus, IM ALONE. so i decided not to go, but head straight to the hall. okay, 13 people. 2 teams, 3 subs. HAHA,tired much. i was controlling my bladder like omg. when my wheelchair bangs into another wheelchair, i really needed the toilet! okay, i was glad when i was subbed out. head straight to the toilet that has no lights, i walked half way, and i had goose pimples on my arms. turned back, and into the hall. thank god Karno was subbed out. so he accompanied me to the toilet. well, there's another toilet behind which was not air-conditioned.apparently i dont know where it is. so he brought me there. finally, relieved and relaxed. back into the hall, chatted a while, and i was back into the game. played till its time. wanted to change my shirt, i had Farrhan accompanying me to the toilet with light, but there were so many green beetles. and he was scaring me with those. i actually screamed. it looked so digusting lah can? its green! omgomgomg. so i didnt change.

asked the cousins to send me to Woodlands like that day that Penghui didnt come. yea, she didnt come again last night, and i had them sending me. so nice of them huh? :D so i was playing games on Karno's iPhone, while Farrhan smiled to his phone. ROFL. we were hungry, went to BurgerKing when we got down at Woodlands. but, only Farrhan got something to eat. i was too lazy to queue, so i bought onion rings from Farrhan, but i havent paid him yet. oops. teehee. oh well, good thing they didnt miss the last bus. :D

seriously, i hear more compliments at UWC than in WRS. to be honest, i havent heard any compliments (to me) from my teammates in months. not counting seniors and coach. i definitely felt good when Tiffany mentioned my name as one of the improved ones. well, she did say and many of the others. but the thing is, my name was mentioned. as for wheelchair basketball, even though i know im not as good as the older players, they always have "nice ball", "good ball", "good shot", "good pass", "nice try" and anything positive. and some would even say my name. that makes me smile. you see, my teammates have been with me for at least two years now, at least thrice every week (if not counting every recess and lunch break we had together), and i see WBA people for only once a week, sometimes two weeks and i know them for only less than a year. yet they can make me feel proud about myself. okay, is this being too sensitive? i just need my teammate to feel good about me, having me as a part of the team. sometimes i just felt that you are not complimenting me on purpose, and complimenting an ugly ball that was spiked after mine. it happened a few times. was i thinking too much or is it real? okay, i shall not say it anymore. i just need to get it out. i dare not voice it out, so i think i shall do it here, since translucent-ironies aint that popular and she my online best friend. she listens to all my problems and kept it until i delete it from her memory. she tells everybody what i allow her to tell, and kept secrets if i told her to keep it. she is indeed my real friend.

alright, i shall go and get my homework done. i'll blog again tonight if i complete my homework and theres still time. :D

ps, you know, i'll be there for you.

RISE AND SHINE HANDSOME AND GORGEOUS. okay, not very early though. i was too late to get home to blog last night, so i shall do it now before i forget everything.

in school, Racial Harmony Day celebration. did nothing much actually. blast music in our class with Naresh's laptop. went crazy for a while. Xinpei came to find me, and we went down to take picture with the other Sunbucks. yes, Hannah and Qiuheng. so we walked around, and round and round till we have to go back to class. down to the hall for the concert. not very exciting. i thought WakaWaka would be nice, but no. sad face. the best item to me, was from the NCC guys. Rano aint difficult to spot at all, he's the tallest thats why. well, Hafiz too, even though he's not tall, but he's the one kind of leading. i think it would be even better if all of them were more synchronizsed. so after the concert, changed back to school uniform. it was fucking hot lahhh. okay, had lunch at KFC with Xinpei, and back home.

knew the news of not cooking today, my first thought, FRIDAY MOVIE! sissie is free. we have to get dinner anyways. so we head to AMKhub. got our tickets first. the queues were blardy long. it was about 6 when we reach, so we went for the movie at 9.15. THE SOCERER'S APRRENTICE. had dinner at PepperLunch. went shopping. haha. got some little things for myself, then it time! went into the cinema. gotten our seats. just hate the crowd. well, the movie is neew, everybody will be watching it. okok, the movie was FUCKING AWESOME! best best best movie. uhhh, how many best movies have i mention for the last few months? i feel like i like all the movies i've watched. haha. anyways, this movie is really good. must watch must watch. okay, the movie ended at 11.15. came out, and there were still so many people queueing for tickets. yea, midnight movie. yea, they all have cars. when we have to catch a train before we miss the last one.

okay, i'm off to prepare for training.

so we had 3 tests today, Physics, Emaths and English, consecutively. and i've done badly for all. so basically, theres only art lesson today. as for CE, theres this teacher named MrPan. so when Vivacions greet him, they actually was looking at me. and yea, Pan being called many times.

so i stayed in class for a while, helping with the class notice board's decoration. yea, the waves. the first one is the best, and the last 3 just suck ttm. Chaoyi helped too. and i was late for training.

i thought it was outdoors, but no, indoors. as we were training, we get to watch the rehearsal of tomorrow's performance. which i didnt wish i had watched it just now, because it wouldnt be exciting anymore when im watching the real one tomorrow.

i got so upset with myself again today. just the same old thing which i wished that i didnt cry. i wish i could control it. but it just came without warning. why is it always after training that im crying? volleyball didnt make me sad. but i think its the failure in volleyball that pisses me. nobody see me cry when i perform well right? when i got a thunder spike, when i killed a ball, when i earn a point. these are all what matters a lot to me. i think if im not able to do those, im just going to be miserable after every single training. obviously i dont want that to happen. i know im a good player, yes, i definitely am. i will be even better if i can control it. i just hope that i can, and this will never come back to haunt me again.

yesterday. okay, school dismissal was 1.30 for the whole school, due to the O Level listening comprehansion. it was raining CATS AND DOGS. primary school compo. haha. okay, went to Woodlands interchange with Jiajing. took 169, since she can drop off at Republic Poly and i can go home. so we board the bus. along the way, i was thinking " how the hell am i going to cross the road?" giant flashlights in the sky. so the bus reached the stop i'm alighting. so i alighted, with another 2 school girls. one from Siling and another from ChungchengHigh. so the three of us waited for all the 4 lanes to be cleared. good thing that there werent many cars at that time. so all the 4 lanes were cleared, all of us ran. my shirt turn translucent as well as the girl from ChungchengHigh, no doubt, the Siling girl was still opaque. so i got home, washed up and went to meet Eunice and Yuping to get our traditional costumes. got what we wanted, i came home while they went to get their class notice board's decoration stuff.

alright, so i was tired. i went to bed early.

and yet, i wasnt able to get out of bed today. woke up a little later than usual. but still, i didnt rush to do things. i thought i would still be able to get to school in time. but i was wrong. I WAS LATE TO SCHOOL AGAIN TODAY. 2nd time this year, and second time in my life going to school late. yes, SECOND! and then i was moody the whole day. probably its because its that day of the month again! why is it so often? i cried during AMaths extra lesson today. it was when MrSoong was explaining matrix. i just dont get it despite its easiness. Runfa just did it with a rocket speed while i was stuck with the method. Runfa saw my tears. and he WIPED IT. he's so much like a brother. he called MrSoong to teach me. and after MrSoong explained it to me personally with a teacher teaching a kindergarten tone, i was laughing, but my tears just wont stop till lesson was over.

so i walked home. it wasnt raining. how i wish it was, like yesterday, and i took a stroll under the rain. HAHA. that would be like a heartbroken person emo-ing in MVs.

alright, off to study. Physics, EMath and English test tomorrow.

feeling really pathetic. i was able to solve problem sums during lesson, once the bell goes off, my mind totally just dont work. i cant do it anymore. this suck so much. and tests are starting next week for our class. some class has already started. okay, i was fucking tired in class. dozed off during Chemistry lesson but Runfa keeps waking me up. AUTOMATICALLY. he notices me all the time. like seriously, i have never noticed him when he sleeps in class. only when i want to say something to him, he was already in his LALALAND. my energy have been taken by him perhaps. he were so energetic and i'm so tired. i was energetic and he was tired on thursday.

anyways. caught THE BLOOD PLEDGE with Sunbucks. the timing werent good. theres 1.20pm, and the next one is 5.30pm, and the time was 1.10. we were so hungry. especially me. so we decided to get the 5.30 one. got the tickets, window shopped till 2pm, had Pasta Mania. just like last week. did i mention i saw Deion and Sherman at Yoshinoya? well, i saw them again. at the same place. we were at PastaMania, they were at Yoshinoya. i wonder do they always eat at Yoshi or every friday just like how we ate PastaMania. went to the library. hoping to do my homework successfully. it didnt fail though, i just didnt succeed. i was stuck at the second question of AMaths. how pathetic.

back to the cinema. sat at our seats, pulled out our jackets and scarfs. ready for the thrill. scenes from the movie screened. we were like, START ALREADY? the side lights were still on. someone came into the theatre, guess what. TECHNICAL PROBLEM. delayed the movie for about 20 minutes. an apology note. a lot of people in the cinema were taking photos of it. Xinpei wanted to, but she didnt. at first, it was the only person sitting infront of us, then when we turn, lights from cameras and phones everywhere. okay, so the movie started. i was scared at first, Unjoo dropped down to the floor, dead. bloody scenes afterwards. many. anyways, the movie was nice. oh, Xintien and Jennifer was in the same cinema. and and when the movie was over, the lights were on, Cindy and Yuenwvei was in that cinema too. okay, so we went to the nursery room. Qiuheng went crazy. came home at last.

today. it was around 5am when i woke up and found myself sweating. my air-con was off. fan couldnt be switched on. my house electricity got cut. there were thunderstorms. it was as if someone was taking photos outside my window. with flash. so bright that i got frightened even though i'm sheltered. by 6 the air-con was on again. so i slept till 9. i was fucking tired. didnt want to wake up at all. i was trying not to be lazy. end up doing things slowlly. i hated this and i was 30 minutes late to the planning of sec four inter-class competition. well, im not the latest to reach anyways. no punishment though. i couldve slept longer. LOL. okay, training started. joint training with the sec ones. not bad at all. i really have to admit that they play really well. perhaps, many of them played better than me when i was int sec one. haha.

i think i didnt perform well today. keep making mistakes. it doesnt happen this much normally. but i wasnt that stressed. weird. seniors came back to play set games with us. i was glad that Tiffany said thst i have improved, as well as Kelly and Jenny. claps. but ofcourse, theres stll room for improvement.

had dinner with te sisters, Xinpei and Xintein. and i'm now hungry again. i ate since 6, and its been 5 hours since i havent had anything. so, i'm so going to lose weight. HAHA. AS IF.

alright, i'm doing my homework, hopefully i can finish it by today so i dont have to worry about it when i'm at the Singapore Flyer tomorrow, for the englush project.

PS, IM SUPER HUNGRY.

PSPS, IM LAZY.

PSPSPS, I MUST COMPLETE MY HOMEWORK!

yesterday. student leader investiture during assembly. trust me i almost burst my bladder. i wanted the loo so badly. unfortunately assembly's right after recess, and i didnt went in the first place. yea, i was late by the time i finish my food. anyways, i sat there, controlling. and there were so many student leaders. CCA leaders, stepping down counsillors and current councillor. speeches by principal, president and vice president of the senior councillors, and the new president. even though their speech wasnt that long, i swear i had a torturous time sitting there.

went to Annie's after school to continue with our english project. yes, its not done until now. and we're planning to go again this Sunday. going to make our video fantastic. oh, Annie cooked for me too. teehee.

today. woke up late, well, IT WAS SISSIE. by the time she showered, it was also late for me. okay, about 20 minutes. i had to rush. quick bath, quick breakfast and ran to the bus stop. it was tiring chasing a bus. bad thing that my bus stop is so far away from my block. sighs. anywho, the bus came just nice when i saw the bus stop from far. 912 didnt take long too. I WASNT LATE FOR SCHOOL. haha. the first lesson was art. hate it when i ran out of ideas. trying to find inspiration from the class, and nothing came. so it was recess, went down. got a few good ideas from Xinpei, but its quite impossible to be done by oil pastel. just got a simple design and i was half way when the lesson bell rang. SHIT. and its dued tomorrow by 2pm. BUT, SUNBUCKS HAVE A MOVIE DATE. THE BLOOD PLEDG! why this week? OMFG!

surprisingly i listened to physics lesson today. without feeling sleepy. proud of myself. and throughout the day, i'm awake. saved one can of my coffee. haha. training indoors today. i think its better the outdoors but Xinpei and Yingjie is really looking forward to the outdoors one. i hate the floor, thats why. i cant run properly or even dive for the ball with that kind of floor. in the hall, floor is smooth, when i dive, the most that will happen is a minor friction burn, which i've gotten a lot lately, not bruises. itll bleed instantly. yes, i've gotten it during training before. so 4 seniors came to watch us train today. Cassandra, Tiffany, Tingfang and Trudie. wow, 3 Ts. haha. okay, back to training. i know Trudie isnt feeling well, she just needs to wack some balls. so i think i wasnt that serious this training. i dont get a sense of failure today. so basically i was happy throughout, but i think i've gotten PMS again. i get so irritated with so many things during training which i normally dont.

okay, came home with Trudie today. feels like the old days that we used to walk home together. since she has stepped down, i didnt go to Admiralty until today. i really miss B div 2009-2010. they certainly have taught me a lot. all of them. chatted along the way. and i had just woke me up from my daily life. PROCASTINATION IS MY HOBBY. and i was thinking of quiting. i know itll take time for me. i shant be lazy anymore. let see if this will work.

back home. had dinner and sissie came home. with 3 of her friends. theyre here to borrow some Thai costumes which, trust me, is really hot. i'm so not going to wear that this Racial Harmony Day. i wont survive. theyve gotten what they want, and we played CHOP CHILLI CHOP. it was my first time knowing about this game. i actually kind of cheated. they say the words, but i didnt. i just followed silently. so thats why i didnt lose in any round. haha. okay, shall end here.

GOING TO DO MY HOMEWORK & sleep early. :D

hey homies. i'm back. 3 days without reading my post must be miserable. HAHA. alright, life has been busy since the school reopen. i totally have no energy to walk up the stairs. i would get stuck half way to the third floor. headaches in class. but well, who else to bame but myself for sleeping late rushing the holiday assignments that have been neglected. okay, i shall say all. it was untouched. but i feel great after getting it done. like in such a short time, i completed it. why didnt i do it during the holidays in the first place! OMG.

okay, since Monday till today, more and more workload has been given. i am still stressed. a piece of reading assignment which is due tomorrow is waiting for me to write something on it, and i'm here blogging. got to get it out, or its going to explode soon. yea, cry. no surprise though. urghhh, why didnt i do it during the hols! i already dont have enough sleep!

as for today, i was surprised that i didnt struggle to stay awake in class. i was totally awake. how i wish this would be forever so i will not worry about sleeping in class. frist period was art. used my new oil pastels that i bought yesterday. the artwork wasnt as nice as i imagined it would turn out like. but not too far apart. okay, gossipped about art students with Val and MsNur. and yea, about the overseas trip. she said that its in the process of planning. so we'll definitely be going! OMG, so excited. and another trip with volleyballers too? OMFG, MORE EXCITED.

okay, i shall get my reading assignment done first. i promise another post for tomorrow. goodnight