Without you

Since the last post on the 23rd of August, I said I'd be back on Friday, but I didn't. Plain lazy. September holidays, doing art. ONLY ART. Feeling guilty but I'm not doing anything. I hate it when my plan fails because distractions like the internet. 

But the 5 days doesn't seem enough for me. Procrastination overwhelmed me like I've been cursed. I swear it sucked. I don't even feel like an O level student. 

Mom says my fate will still be the same whether I did really well or badly for O's. Obviously she doesn't expect a lot. But I do. From myself. I always believe that I can do it. Whatever I want. The reason I failed something I do is because I don't like it. Yes, it's always like that. 

Jack of all trades, master of none. Well, not always. I can be a master of something. I am a master of something, just that I have to find what is that something. Right now, I wish it was my studies, but obviously impossible, so at least make me want to study! I love studying, but not when I don't understand a shit. 

My life isn't all beautiful and pretty. How i wish it was. Obstacles I faced of course had me drowning for a long time. Especially this year, while I've been living my life as a 16 year old kid in a foreign country with no relative. I really want a sister or a brother here. The one that will really treat me as a sister. Because if not, I'll have a lot of brothers from 4Vivacious which includes David since his heart belongs to 4-4. 

I've watched like 3 movies in cinemas this and last month. Suckseed, FinalDestination5 and Smurf. Wasted a lot of time, felt guilty and never did anything about it. Sucks to know. Gosh! Prelims on Monday. No revision done yet. Clever me will find a way out. Heeeee.

Was skyping with Kosol just now. For about 2 hours and 15 minutes. He was teaching me months in Thai. And Thai idioms. I feel damn dumb that I really don't know some of it. It's not like Chinese that you call months by number. There's a freaking name for each month! And he was having a good laugh. Humiliating much. Oh, have I told you that he looks exactly like Aj Rafael? I realized it when i was watching Aj's cover of Love you like a love song with Miranda (Colleen Ballinger). Get to hear him sing "live" just now. Gotta admit that he could be the next Aj. Obviously not as good as Aj, but he can sing. Quite moved by the music he made. WAAAAAAAAA. Not to that extent, but its nice. 

Alright, I'm going to shower now. I know, yes, I haven't showered. Going off now, and probably straight to bed. Oh, gotta dry my hair too. Gosh, sleeping at about 5.30? Sucks. 

Goodbye. 

P.