Translucent-Ironies

Let It Be My Guide

2012-02-13T18:46:00.000+08:00

So I probably said that I was going to blog after my exams. Well, it's been long since my last paper. Been trying to do my portfolio which I have been procrastinating to perfect it. Kinda worried and stuff. Some of the results are out, pretty much passed all the requirements but I'm waiting for the second round result. Which I think should be worse than the first. I wanted a higher score to guarantee my space in Chulalongkorn University.

Art n Me, my art tutoring center which is helping me with my portfolio is closed on Mondays, so I'm here on a Monday. Not that I go to class everyday. HAHAHA.

Bow is in my house right now, cover dancing to MissA's Bad Girl Good Girl with her friend, P.Aongying. They're taking part in some competition on the 25th along with 2 others, that I'll be taking my IELTS. Though it's not necessary anymore because I already passed my english requirement, but I already applied, I don't want to waste daddy's 6300 baht just like that.

So how have you guys been doing? I really miss Singapore for these past few weeks that I can die. Not that I'm living a boring life in Bangkok, it's been livelier than I ever thought it would be. Compare my life to sissie's time last year, the period that we're waiting for our acceptance to a university. It's a complete opposite world.

About getting into a university, part of me are thankful for the flood that has happened in Thailand, if not for the flood, I wouldn't have the chance to apply for a place in a university and would have to wait for next year. Sad isn't it. But I'm not even sure if I'll pass because there are hundreds of people applying for that course, and only 40-50 will be accepted.

Okay, I have a good news for those who missed me. There's a higher chance of me returning to Singapore real soon! But it's just a MAYBE. I'll let you guys know when I'm certain.

That's about it, I don't know what to blog about anymore.

P.

To Where I Spoke Singlish

2012-01-16T17:38:00.000+08:00

"The happy dying kid"

"The dying saint"

"The girl who got abused"

Pretty much what I did in Singapore last week.

Collected our O level results. I was expect Es in my report card. But well, I didn't have any E. HAHAHAHAHHA. Well, there was a D7, a B3 and the rest are Cs. Not disappointed. But I knew it all along that the results could have been way better.

Nothing else to elaborate.

Till here.
P.

When I'm With You, When You're With Me

2012-01-16T16:08:00.000+08:00

Tan Xin Pei was here at my house for a week. Went shopping, movies and eat. I remembered she took down notes about what she did on each day so that she could blog about it. So, if you want to know what we've been doing, check her blog out.

I left her alone at home watching Pretty Little Liars and I went for art class. Honestly, I felt bad, but I can't help it. It's paid, and exams were coming, and the fact that I joined the class latest of all the students. But the thing is, Xinpei never got mad. If me, I think I'll be a little pissed. But well, she always used it against me when I want to use my Mac or something.

So she didn't actually "met" Bangkok till the last day, when my brother brought us around. Had dinner, went to Chinatown and drove us to places. Always love his E-Class Coupe. Coolest Mercedes at home.

How My New Year Went

2012-01-16T15:12:00.001+08:00

So my New Year wasn't as good as the other years that we spent in Pattaya. Apparently we just moved into our new home. And we're not really done furnishing, cleaning and stuff. Even till today. All the tables, chairs, chandelier and I don't know what else in this house, it's temporary. Because the ones that daddy ordered, pretty much everything, isn't ready.

And yea, people are still working in our house. The big chandelier is here now. They say they'll need about 2 days to fix it. Dayyum. Well, I'll take a picture and show you guys...someday.

Okay, we welcomed 2012 by firing our own fireworks in our backyard. It was bigger than the ones in the photos, I swear. But my camera can't capture it. Being a noobie asa well, and the atmosphere is really dark, the shutter won't work. Thats what I got that night.

Had some lucky draws and well, I won first prize! 4000 baht. LOL. Probably the best thing that night.

Other than that, it wasn't really fun.

Santa Was In Town

2011-12-31T01:26:00.000+08:00

We might as well bake our gadgets.

And it was snowing.

Behind the scenes.

First attempt baking, and in our new kitchen. Wanted to try the oven but we didn't know how to use it. Was afraid we'd damage it, so thought it would be better if we didn't make cupcakes. Made icing instead. That was on Christmas's Eve. And no progress until now. Let's see how it goes.

December Eighth.

2011-12-08T19:05:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NINETEENTH MY SISTER.

Daddies of The World

2011-12-08T18:13:00.001+08:00

With daddy, brother in law and Vivienne.

Daddy with nephews.

One big family.

Cool nephew.

3 days ago was the King's Birthday and Father's day in Thailand. All we did was went to Grand Hyatt Erawan Bangkok for lunch buffet. Didn't quite like the restaurant. I like the one downstairs more, but it was full. I missed the Foie Gras with peppermint sauce. :(

Kinda unproductive because I was hoping to do something else too.

One Fine Day

2011-12-08T16:46:00.001+08:00

What's missing?

The answer.

Another pathetic car.

So I came home one day, waiting for the ride, I picked up my Nikon D60 which I have neglected. A few decent pictures of the dogs. And of course the 2 pathetic cars parked at home.

But well, I'm still hoping to get another DSLR. Not the beginner one. Seems like hard. I don't even have a phone yet.

My life right now isn't all fun. I still have to go for classes, IELTS and SAT. If you even know what it is. Chulalongkorn University doesn't accept only O levels cert. And my worry s if I didn't pass O's. I'll have to take another class, GED. Troublesome isn't it.

I probably too like 5 hours to type these posts. One of the reason is my nails. I can't really type. It's too long that I can't press the buttons properly.

I'm finally done, but not with all what I wanted to blog about. Forget it then, till the next time.

Orangey

2011-11-27T01:56:00.001+08:00

To talk about dying my hair for the first time, it's kind of nervous. I was afraid it would turn out sucky. But well, I'm glad it was nicer that expected.

It's brown while the highlighted part is orangey. Sissie is so jealous of my new hair. HAHA.

Time For A Change

2011-11-27T01:33:00.001+08:00

Getting ready. My heart was beating really fast.

Bleached my hair.

Dying with dye. 2 pairs of hands for my one head.

Done. Going to blow dry.

End product.

I'll Love You, Forever.

2011-11-24T04:16:00.001+08:00

One Moment's Opinion

2011-11-12T05:01:00.001+08:00

I probably thought that I wouldn't have pierced anything on my left ear anymore. But hey, how ironic that was, I actually did. We did. 3 helix pierced that night. Maria's, Xinpei's and mine. I sure have a rebellious ear. Certainly since all was on the left. A helix, a tragus and 3 on the lobe. Bling bling much.

Gotta admit I was afraid. Like the first time I ever pierced my ear. Trying not to fidget, but seriously, the guy sure fumbled a lot that I can totally forgot not to freak out. But yea, I managed to get through it without any mistakes, which I was very worried at first. Yea, cos I heard helix piercings ever caused deformation on someone's face. Nobody's gonna want that, right?

Like, duh?

Goodnight.

P.

Gossip Girls You Call It

2011-11-12T03:53:00.001+08:00

I'm glad I can finally update this space with photos that I actually went out. It's been a long time. Really. More than that even.

So I was really happy to know that the battle was ending soon. I just can't wait to get shipped back to Bangkok. Whether I win or lose, I shall never regret it for I know I have things planned out.

I was out shopping these few days. I know, celebrating before it even ends? And I'm sure many people are doing it too. Spent quite some dollars out there. I didn't even worry about getting 'bankrupt'. Haven't been able to do that for a long time too.

It's sad to know that you've actually spent a lot of money but coming home to very little things to try on. Always happen to me. Because I was never satisfied.

Well, I'm very distracted right now. Watching Gossip Girls. Shall blog next time. When I'm not this distracted.

And, good morning to you, goodnight to me.

P.

2011-10-27T01:10:00.001+08:00

And I watched you look at him, the way you said you never will. Till here my friend, if you still regard me as one. I wish you good luck, and see you again.

Through The Gates Of Woodlands Ring Secondary School

2011-10-26T06:00:00.001+08:00

It's been a while since I graduated, so I've decided to drop by and update this space. Well, I don't feel like I've graduated though. Graduation day wasn't memorable. Disappointed of course, because I expected more. It's over now, no going back, no point ranting.

Alright, I admit that I haven't been using my time really wisely. And I suck at managing my time. It upsets me just thinking about this. Gosh, just spending time here already doesn't feel right.

English O's are over. Science practical too. The rest is coming like a bullet train.

Goodluck. And for those who don't believe in luck, do your best.

P.

4 Vivacious

2011-10-13T03:11:00.000+08:00

This will be the last post before I graduate from Woodlands Ring Secondary School. It's sad to think of it this way.

2 years certainly passed like a bullet train in Japan. I've met the most wonderful bunch of people in the world, in a class called Vivacious. Going through hot and cold together. Having Mama Chan, Papa See and Grandma Kok. Receiving praises from MrsKok. Experiencing hatred from teachers (cos we're "bad"companies). Good or bad, I'm glad I was in 4E4 Vivacious anyways.

We'll be graduating tomorrow. Friday.

Today will be our last day going to class as a WRS student.

But remember, learning never stops.

With love,
P.

Class of 2011

2011-10-13T03:10:00.000+08:00

Time flies. Never expected my last year would be spent with such a special class with full of special people. Unique with all characteristics. Ranging from quiet to loud and even noisy. Shy to playful. Sports people. Music people. And of course, that I noticed, from the history of Woodlands Ring Secondary, 4Vivacious is the class with most races ever. Chinese, Malay, Indian, Filipino and of course, Thai. Woodlands Ring Secondary School never had a Thai student from what I know.

Looking through the photos in my MacBook had me thinking a while. My life would be really different. Imagine how would it be life without you guys, and of course because I'm going back to Bangkok too. I will miss each and everyone of you dearly, especially my 'brothers'. I hope you guys will miss me too.

I would want to say that this year was the best school year and never regretted anything. However not, I have oodles of deplores. Nothing to do with Vivacious, no worries.

P.

Maybe I'm just too demanding

2011-09-29T03:04:00.000+08:00

And I wish I had all the time in the world.

A song that goes on and on

2011-09-28T03:01:00.000+08:00

Demoralized. I can't fail my O's. Never. It seems to everyone that I have given up. I'm ranked the last in class now. Probably the last in the cohort too. Shameful much. However I must know that this is not the end of the world. MrSee brought this point up today. I felt better, but worse. Heck that feeling is weird. Broken down a few times this week, hate to admit, but its true. Just hope that I will turn this obstacle into a bridge. I will build a gigantic hammer to destroy that wall of obstacles. Just you watch me.

Bucket full of tears

2011-09-23T02:22:00.002+08:00

For how much I wish to go home right now, it will not happen. I have a mission to complete. And yes, it is O levels. The result I'm getting doesn't really matter of what I'll be doing in future. So much that I feel like giving up. This year. This term. This week. This day. This hour. This minute. This second. I have lost hope in myself. Missing home. No one actually knows how I'm feeling.

But even so, I hate getting bad results.

All I know is that, it's going to be worth it. All I have to do is work harder. Much harder. It's not going to be easy, of this I am sure. Discipline is what I lack. Failing prelims gave me a big wake up call. In my head. Doesn't really show through my actions. Actually, it shows the opposite. I've been going to school late too often, sleeping in class every period, what next? Skip school? I swear, it was unintentional. Never wanted these to happen, but I can't promise that it wouldn't happen again.

I've been enduring this for almost 8 years, just 2 more months, why is it so difficult? In fact, it's lesser than that.

Forgive me for my bad results. I'll try harder. For now, I'll head to bed.

Ajay's coming to Singapore later. Her flight is at 1pm. I'll have a roommate tomorrow. Just tomorrow. May be back to post. And Alvin's wedding on Saturday.

Oh.my.god. There's so much going on on Saturday. Amath lesson in school, WBL at RP and Alvin's wedding at M hotel. Plus, I'm skipping tuition. Goshhhh. This is bad.

Goodnight,
P.

Without you

2011-09-11T04:35:00.001+08:00

Since the last post on the 23rd of August, I said I'd be back on Friday, but I didn't. Plain lazy. September holidays, doing art. ONLY ART. Feeling guilty but I'm not doing anything. I hate it when my plan fails because distractions like the internet.

But the 5 days doesn't seem enough for me. Procrastination overwhelmed me like I've been cursed. I swear it sucked. I don't even feel like an O level student.

Mom says my fate will still be the same whether I did really well or badly for O's. Obviously she doesn't expect a lot. But I do. From myself. I always believe that I can do it. Whatever I want. The reason I failed something I do is because I don't like it. Yes, it's always like that.

Jack of all trades, master of none. Well, not always. I can be a master of something. I am a master of something, just that I have to find what is that something. Right now, I wish it was my studies, but obviously impossible, so at least make me want to study! I love studying, but not when I don't understand a shit.

My life isn't all beautiful and pretty. How i wish it was. Obstacles I faced of course had me drowning for a long time. Especially this year, while I've been living my life as a 16 year old kid in a foreign country with no relative. I really want a sister or a brother here. The one that will really treat me as a sister. Because if not, I'll have a lot of brothers from 4Vivacious which includes David since his heart belongs to 4-4.

I've watched like 3 movies in cinemas this and last month. Suckseed, FinalDestination5 and Smurf. Wasted a lot of time, felt guilty and never did anything about it. Sucks to know. Gosh! Prelims on Monday. No revision done yet. Clever me will find a way out. Heeeee.

Was skyping with Kosol just now. For about 2 hours and 15 minutes. He was teaching me months in Thai. And Thai idioms. I feel damn dumb that I really don't know some of it. It's not like Chinese that you call months by number. There's a freaking name for each month! And he was having a good laugh. Humiliating much. Oh, have I told you that he looks exactly like Aj Rafael? I realized it when i was watching Aj's cover of Love you like a love song with Miranda (Colleen Ballinger). Get to hear him sing "live" just now. Gotta admit that he could be the next Aj. Obviously not as good as Aj, but he can sing. Quite moved by the music he made. WAAAAAAAAA. Not to that extent, but its nice.

Alright, I'm going to shower now. I know, yes, I haven't showered. Going off now, and probably straight to bed. Oh, gotta dry my hair too. Gosh, sleeping at about 5.30? Sucks.

Goodbye.

Love you like a love song

2011-09-11T02:40:00.000+08:00

Beautiful him

2011-08-23T23:14:00.001+08:00

My new found idol. He seriously made my day. How I wish you guys understood Thai, I think you'll literally roll on the floor laughing.

Right, Art prelims 2 today. I swear my final work was nice, but the preparatory work totally screwed it. Shall not talk about it though. English paper 1 and 2. I'm so not prepared.

Following by Social Studies and the Geography. I don't want to fail, but I'm not studying.

Alright, shall get to work. I'm going to do a summary, then sleep.

Goodnight now. Will be back on Friday.

Punctuality

2011-08-23T01:46:00.004+08:00

Punctuality, the word I've heard a lot today. Yes, for some apparent reason, I was late for school.

I must accept full responsibility for every thought, word, deed and decision, for inevitably, I will have to pay the price of each.

What Mr George taught me today was meaningful. Being out of class wasn't bad at all, but, if I were to be late again, I swear, I'm so not going to school.

Beating like a drum and it's coming your way

2011-08-20T01:11:00.001+08:00

Whatever I've been doing, I know isn't right. I'm wasting my time each day with something you call nonsense. I would really like to know the reason why I'm behaving this way. This shouldn't be the way, and I know that well. Discipline must be it.

Combined School training probably has come to an end. Theres no training tomorrow. The Vietnam team is flying off tomorrow morning, and I don't know if we'll have a chance to ever meet again. All of this wouldn't even happen if I don't know volleyball. And for that, I'm thankful. Singapore Girls School FTW. Winks.

Honestly, I don't now if I'll continue volleyball in Thailand. Just so you know, it's more challenging than it is in Singapore. It would be really nice if I had a jersey with "Thailand" printed on it. Okay, step by step. I know I can't just skip and hope for something so far fetch.

Alright, O level has officially started for me. My first O level exam was oral, which is today. To be frank, I wasn't confident. A bad start indeed. The picture discussion - totally weakness. So, I somehow screwed my English Oral. 20 percent for English, I wished i had more than 10 percent to contribute to the whole paper.

The more I watch Thai music videos, the more I want to go back. I even ever thought of not taking O's, and go back right now. But what's the point then. preparing myself for years, and giving up just months before the real paper itself. Obviously I want to get a decent certificate. Even though I don't know if I'll be able to do it, but I will do my best, and I'm not saying "try".

I'm going to study now. Geography. Prelims next week. Ohmygod. I'm kind of dead. I haven't done my Art preparation work too. And I don't know when I'm starting on it.

I wanna be blown away

2011-08-15T00:52:00.003+08:00

Not feeling any anxious for prelims. Why haven't it struck me right in my brain? I can be out all day and feeling guilty at night and doing nothing about it. I should be able to just freeze time, and do all the things I want, and when time starts to walk again, I will be studying. But no, it's not that simple. I wish I had Hermione's time traveller. It will make me so smart. I can be everywhere, at the same time. I can even go home, and not miss any lesson.

O levels are drawing close. I'm so not prepared. It sucks to know this.

Through to semi-finals I suppose. Won SIM today. Even though I wasn't part of the reason of the victory, I'm proud of this team. I just hope that there will still be a chance for me to step into that court and play.

Anyways, it's getting late, I should probably get to sleep. Promised I made with MdmChan haven't been truthfully fulfilled. 10pm.

And let it be known from this day forward

2011-08-10T04:08:00.001+08:00

I think I'm being petty at times, certainly not all the time. I want things to go my way, but i know it's impossible. This is ridiculous. I always believed in karma. I know it exists, but people are not getting what they deserve. This isn't fair. Some karma take as long as your life, to get back to you, while some just comes back to you the day after. Sometimes at your loved ones. Small karma must have been getting back on me recently. I know, yes, I haven't been a purely innocent person. But, I'm not bad to the extent of murder, no worries.

Volleyball - a team game. Teaching is alright, but not blaming. Throwing faults at others, keeping yourself high and mighty. Someday, that cover of yours will peel of, like a banana skin. You are not a fantastic player yourself. Thinking too highly of yourself. Arrogant much. I just can't take it. It's obvious, I know you're better than me, but please, that doesn't give you the right to blame that mistake on me. You could have saved the point too.

I'm tired. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I'm going to sleep soon. seems like I can't do anything tonight.

Goodnight.

I'll be rising from the ground

2011-08-08T03:16:00.004+08:00

Right here, right now. I'm irked by the words of a harridan. I shouldn't care, I know. It just seemed like "it" doesn't want to stop. Honestly, I never thought of letting this go so easily, but i tried, since there's no point holding on to the grudge I had towards "it", I remained silent. I have no idea how much longer I can stand it before it explodes again. This is definitely not the best way to let it out, publicizing it is somehow linked to cyber bullying I guess.

My tousled life is leading me nowhere. My peevish attitude definitely contributes to this point. For whatever the reason, this is really a bad time. 2 months to the major exam and I'm sulking over trivial matters. Childish ain't I. Well, I've known more childish souls. Two of them. One'a a termagant, another's a knave. I don't get these people. I've stopped, why haven't you? I'm waiting for the day you both drown in your owns words, suffocating till you die.

To the bitch, seriously, have I ever done something to offend you? Not until you did something to me. Never. I never knew you even existed. Until the day you bitched about me.

To the bastard, I am really shocked of how much you can throw away the "man" mask you wore.

I'm getting hungry, my tummy is crying.

Should I give up, or should I keep chasing pavements

2011-07-31T00:53:00.003+08:00

Its been a tiring day today. Training and Open Cup. skipped tuition, and I don't think I feel good about it at all. Didn't study at all, except for asking Rosanna and Rachel about that one kinematics question that I haven't got the answer for the past few days.

About the match today, I was actually prepared to be sitting beside the court, warming the bench. I was right though. For the first set. Except for the last few balls. Played half of the second set, because coach had Jiayi to substitute me while I was at the back court. Well, that was only the second set. I was quite surprised that he kept me inside for the last 2 sets too. For the best of 5 game. Lost the first, won the 2nd, 3rd and 4th. I was happy that I tell myself that I helped the team win the game, all the 3 sets, especially the last 2.

For the first time, I actually felt useful in the team. I just felt like I'm not important at all. Trying not to think so much, but I'm sensitive like that.

Next match is tomorrow. I mean today since its already past 12. In fact its 2.30. Wtf? okay, I;m going to sleep soon. PHS alumni tomorrow.

Goodnight.

Even if it leads nowhere

2011-07-25T02:02:00.001+08:00

I'm glad that there are people who are still on my side, thinking the same way as me.

So, I was at McDonald's just now. Trying to study. It's frustrating that I just don't get into the right mood. I just miss home. Very much today, that i cried and Emily wondered how i did it. Crying so easily.

I shall go and sleep soon. I probably can't wake up later. :(

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

2011-07-22T23:23:00.002+08:00

Racial Harmony wasn't all fun. Didn't have the time to take photos with everyone and some other from other levels. Like, they should understand the graduating students isn't it. It's irritating of how this year's events were organized. I realize that our batch is the unluckiest batch ever. For example, OBS. The biggest problem that I was irritated about most.

I realize my life is going downhill. Couldn't get any worse. Seriously. I just miss home. I just need my mom right now, not just talking to her through this rectangular screen. This is frustrating I swear. I miss her. She's not only a mother to me, she's my home, she's my teacher and she's my true friend. I've been thinking a lot lately. Since the day I received a text from a bastard about my close friends saying something like they can't tolerate me and its just months away. Well, not to say that i really believe him, but who wouldn't get cautious? I start to doubt a friend of mine. A really close one. Gosh, I don't want to think of the worse, but I'm sensitive like that.

I guess I'm not the only sensitive one though. Just some asshole getting angry when i wasn't even talking about him. Whatever now. I shouldn't think about it anymore.

Gah, I'm wasting my time again. Got to start studying now. Amaths test tomorrow. Jeez. I have a bad feeling.

Catching teardrops in my hand

2011-07-18T00:47:00.003+08:00

I should probably be sleeping right now, but I'm just going to blog. I think I have been wasting my time doing nonsense. Like, watching television instead of studying. Of course I regretted it, but I never tried to change. Absolutely no idea why. Never wanted to see a failing grade, but never worked hard. Its quite dumb, I know. I lack discipline, very much. Just like, right now, I'm talking about this, and I'm just slowly typing out this post, like its not using up any time at all.

I'm sitting on the cold white tiles of my room, trembling. It's cold in here, only because I'm not at the right temperature, which means, I'm sick. Sleeping late every night for the past few weeks, certainly contributed to why I'm in this condition.

I'm so angry right now. I'm so distracted. I was on tumblr for about 30 minutes.

Anyways, back to blog.

I feel so, neglected somehow. Not at school, during training. Maybe because my skills aren't up the their standard. Like duh, they are like top player in Singapore, and I'm just an underdog, living in inferior. Crying every time I shower during training. Sitting alone while the rest played games, nobody cared. Just can't help it, but i feel lousy. Like i was never a good player, not even for Woodlands Ring standard. Useless ain't I. I was never good at anything, of this I am sure.

As days pass, I miss Bangkok even more. Never felt this way in so long. I really don't understand why this must happen now, when O levels are just around the corner. It never happened when i wasn't busy with anything. Half of me is dying to go back, but the other half doesn't want to leave. For I have friends here, and not back there.

Not to say that I only have friends, obviously foes are everywhere. I don't know whether what she was talking about me, giggling and stares, you know, who wouldn't think? But guess what? I we were really enemies and in a fight, I will have a clear win. Which I have nothing to worry about. And you know what? If you're not happy with this post, come on and find me, I'll be more than happy to have some verbal war with you. BITCH.

So it's 1.48am now. Great.

It all ends

2011-07-16T01:33:00.003+08:00

and finally HarryPotter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 is out, and we;ve watched it. awesome.

but i'm sad that i can't look forward to any HarryPotter next year. definitely will miss Hermione's Brit accent. sighs.

caught Harry Potter with Emily, Sheela, Jiawei and Shuiyuan. Farhan and clique, Farhan's sister and her boyfriend, and Chaoyi, Hafiz and Jonathan were in the cinema too. thanks to Farhan, we have our tickets booked.

just here to update. tired much. going to sleep soon. training tomorrow. gg.

goodnight.

NANANANANANANANANA

2011-07-08T23:33:00.003+08:00

went to Em's today. this was one of the pictures we took. her ahma so cute. :)

i regret staying up till 4am yesterday, and having lesser than 2 hours of sleep. i wasnt able to follow Chemistry lesson at all. Sorry Ms.Chua. my eyes are as heavy now, i should probably go and sleep. i dont know what to blog anyways. maybe i'll come back tomorrow.

goodnight.

The Notebook

2011-07-04T18:03:00.002+08:00

i finally manage to get hold of this book. it feels like heaven. however i am not going to start reading it until i'm done with my comprehension and summary. just going to make a quick post to keep something up in this space. well, and i'd probably won't blog too often too. just like how it's been, months before another post. but i'll try to come often though. after all, this helps me in my writing doesn't it.

going to stay over at Maria's tonight, with Xinpei. and going to school together tomorrow. but of course i have to finish up all my work first, and call mom for permission.

anyways, i'm going to do my comprehension and summary now. if possible, my art too.

goodbye for now, and i'll try to drop by.

A Walk to Remember

2011-07-04T02:23:00.002+08:00

i sure do love this movie. and Nicholas Sparks. thanks to Annie, that she showed me The Notebook when i went to her house a weeks ago, and reading his books too. i remembered clearly that i wasn't really interested in that movie since she said it was kind of old. certainly not my cup of tea. but it surprises me on how much i loved it. so addicted to his work now. i have been looking around for The Notebook in every bookstores i happen to pass by. but it was all OUT OF STOCK. not many of Nicholas Sparks books were available either. there's Safe Haven, that is available at every outlet of Popular, but i didn't but it because the cover page doesn't look interesting to me.

watched A Walk to Remember just now, because i remembered Maria's action for the movie. she was having something in her mouth, so she acted out with her fingers of the name of this movie. it's still fresh in my mind. after remembering that, i went to search for this movie, and yes, watch it. didn't regret a second, even though i've tried not to do something else except my work today. i'll just stay up a little later.

about the movie, i'd rate it as high as possible. even though the part she says not to fall in love with her, it seems ridiculous to think about it. but when you're watching the movie, it's just different. you don't question it at all. the movies based on his novels are just awesome. AWESOME. no kidding yo. and this really makes me want to read his books, even though i hated reading. ironic much.

so, about what i've been up to lately, i'm trying to pull my grades up by working bits. i try to do as much work possible since i can't bear to see number 9 all over my report card again. plus, i don't want to lose my bet. bought a thesaurus a few days ago, on friday, with Em, because she wanted to get it, so i think i should get one too. why not right? it'll help me in a way or another.

after quitting Amaths tuition with Dr.Sia at Mercu, Em and i went to sign up for another one at Admiralty, which i forgot what the centre was called. anyways, its still on Saturdays, but a later timing, which gave me time to rest after training, which won't make me fall asleep again. and it's definitely is a good place. not so expensive too, compared to Mercu. the lesson wasn't boring either. we can totally feel the pressure in the class that we must do well. and the "future A1 student" feeling. many WRS students were in the same class too.

many people have been wondering about the sudden change in my attitude towards learning. well, i got motivated by the K-drama "God of Study", introduced to me by Em, since i was addicted to dramas and movies. ya, you've guessed that i'd probably be watching dramas the whole june holidays. and that's right. i watched Boys Over Flower again. influence of Em too. she watched it the second time and told me, and i am tempted to watch it again. damn. and once i start, it is impossible to stop. right after BOF, i went to watch GOS. and yes, it showed me the way. of course a little crap here and there, but definitely worth a watch from students. i worked with me and Em to start studying hard now. you might not believe how much wonders it make.

going to stay over at Maria's with Xinpei tomorrow night, and go to school together. i am damn excited now. too bad Sheela can't join. it's okay, there'll be next time!

okay, it's 3am right now, and i have to finish up my comprehension and art. damn, i fucking take a long time writing this post.

2011-07-04T01:36:00.002+08:00

"The romantics would call this a love story, the cynics would call it a tragedy. In my mind it's a little bit of both, and no matter how you choose to view it in the end, it does not change the fact that it involves a great deal of my life and the path I've chosen to follow." - The Notebook

who says you're the only one that's hurting?

2011-06-10T03:06:00.002+08:00

a lot has been happening lately. but i haven't been updating because i'm lazy like that. sighs. i probably can't remember most of it. sad isn't it. wells, it's officially the holidays now. intensives are over, only for 4-4 and 5Ns. other express classes are still suffering. but its for their own good though. i certainly regret not studying today. i've been painting my nails. i know, whole day? yes. my index finger keeps getting ruined. until now. i'm not going to redo it anymore. i think i'm going to change the color in a few days time. maybe saturday after i come home from training. and i'll be ready before shopping with Maria, Sheela and Xinpei. (Y)

i'm too lazy to spam my post with photos too. ohmy, i'm so pathetic. i don't study, i don't draw and i don't even post proper blog posts. gosh. i'm feeling useless and i want to go home. HOME. if you know what i mean. i'm feeling ugly and fat. maybe that is what i am. *cries*

i've seen tweets and facebook statuses saying that they've been studying and time for a break, and i'll be thinking about what i've been doing. guess what? i was on a break for the whole day. just great isn't it.

anyways, i'm going to leave here and go to bed. speaking in british. - I'M GOING SHOPPING WITH EMS TOMORROW (which is later)! CLASS BBQ AFTER THAT TOO.

Live like we're dying

2011-05-31T00:25:00.003+08:00

Our hearts are hungry for food that won't come. We could make a feast from these crumbs. And we're all starring down the barrel of a gun. So if your life flashed before you. What would you wish you would've done?

i have nothing to say today. not in the mood actually. so i guess i'll see you sometime later.

Deserving

2011-05-30T23:23:00.002+08:00

Dont think second best

2011-05-30T03:23:00.002+08:00

I guess I'm done with my blog's layout now. it took me quite some time. I think professional bloggers use this kind of simple layout, so, I'm going to give it a try. after all, I'm lazy to change blogskins and stuff, especially adding links in between codes. it confuses me sometimes. so, I think I'm going to stick with this for a long time. since I can always change the logo.

this feeling I have, of turning everything in my mind into poetry, but it just doesn't come out in sentences. not even words. which means, I can't describe it. suck doesn't it. how am I going to pass my english this way? I can't even write out my own feelings. and i don't express it either. damn.

I was at Orchard earlier on yesterday. walking around, with my sore calf. resilient enough to last for 5 hours without having a seat. walked from Orchard Road, all the way to Dhoby Ghaut. cool isn't it.

went to Woodlands Waterfront afterwards. photographic moments and fun, suppered at McDonald's, with Albert, Kianshen, Minghwee and myself. talking to the guys about sports. and seriously, they are all sports people. picked up some tips here and there. if I were disciplined enough to follow through the whole week, maybe the others would see the difference.

anyways, I think I'm going to doze off anytime now. going to pool with Kianshen and Minghwee in the morning. I better get some sleep. it's fucking 3.50 am.

goodbye.

Inner peace

2011-05-28T01:03:00.008+08:00

i am very pissed off right now. there's so many thing happening and most of it just didnt go my way. it sucks to feel this way. its fucking not my fault, but everything sounds like it is. well, i sound denial too. i dont care if you believe me, but im just very annoyed by almost every element on Earth now. even myself. i should learn how to calm myself down too. especially during the strawberry season. everything upsets me. everything irritates me. everything would just leave me thinking that i should kill myself. fuck life much? but not mine.

well. last day of semester 1, or you call it term 2. my results sucked. big time. not going to blame anyone. not even myself. i knew this was going to happen anyways. i havent been studying as hard as the others. so, what can i expect, but failure? just trying to get things off of my head. since im in L.A, i cant go swimming. its fucking friday! damn. i felt so relaxed after swimming last friday, but this friday, totally the opposite. gosh. so i was finding companions to accompany me to watch Kungfu Panda 2. apparently most of the girls were being worried for the O levels Mother Tongue paper on Monday. so i kind of gave up the thought of watching it. heading home, i walked pass the councillor room. sand yes, thats how i found my companions. Jonathan, Jiawei, Shuiyuan and Weiyuan. it feels weird to be the only girl though. but i dont care, i want to watch it.

AND IT WAS AWESOME.

thanks guys. :)

so we were walking around, i was waiting for sissie, she has been locked outside the house, since nobody's home. and the awkward moment when sissie came, and Weiyuan didnt believe that she was my sister.

and i went to NorthPoint, while sissie went to find her friend in Khatib. yes, i was alone. getting to spend money by myself gets my mind off some stuff too. isnt it good? *winks.

alright, training later on. its fucking late, and i need to sleep. and i cant find my training bag. its been gone for a while now. and it still doesnt appear. no point asking the maid too. gosh. this sucks.

i just wish that everything will be fine.

im not going to care about what is going to happen next.

she hates me, you should know. i hate her, i dont know if you know. but certainly, you dont understand how i feel. im fine with your girlfriends, but just not her. i used to think she was nice and innocent. what now? bitching about me to everyone and maybe you too? obviously im not so naive to ignore whatever she said that i heard, im telling everyone i hate her i dont know what has she been blowing into your ears, but whatever is going to happen after this, i hope you feel everything i want you to feel, like how im feeling right now. and REGRET it. youre hiding things from me too. and i think this explains whatever youre thinking of. we should talk soon.

Everyday I'm Shuffling

2011-04-24T12:56:00.000+08:00

wanted to blog last night. but i was too tired. maybe because i didnt have enough sleep and i went to play volleyball for 4 hours and tuition for another 2 hours. well, i was excited and scared.

so i woke up at around 6.30, and couldnt go back to sleep. so i've decided to go to Presby a little earlier. was there at around 8.30, the setters were warming up. a few people were already there. played with Denise and Jolly a while, then everyone starts warming up. played set games ourselves, messy positions as there were no setters.

did a lot of stuff. and i'm scared that i wont be selected. :( i really like it there. everyone is so cool. and all of us get along really fast. i want to go back there again. apparently there wont be any until 14th of May, after prelims, and for those selected ones only. yea, the actual training. i hope i'm selected. really. but there are so many good players. OUTSTANDING ONES. and im just in the middle. and i dont even know if there's any at the bottom. :'(

so we were talking about Koi. Jolly and Rachel loved Koi too. but, Claira and Weiyu didnt. D: went to get Koi with Jolly at Angmokio. talked about random stuff and drawing circles. and EVERYDAY I'M SHUFFLING. and we separated. D':

k, rushed back to woodlands for tuition. met Aldric at Angmokio station. he tried to call me and hid behind the pillar. and that's when i realize that i cant hear it when people call me. stupid phone. so i walked as fast as i could to Mercu. and i saw Emily standing outside. and she thought Danish wasnt there yet. haha. idk what will she do if i didnt turn up.

so we were doing trigonometry. and i was dozing off. Dr.Seah actually asked me to take a nap! LOL. so yea, i did, for ten minutes. did a few questions. and back home. tired. but i was on facebook. and at night when i wanted to blog, i dozed off. the lamp was still on i guess. but it was already switched off when i woke up. hmmmmmm. someone came in last night. O.O

okay, i better get started with my work. talk to you guys again when i'm not lazy. goodbye.

So Long

2011-04-16T00:37:00.002+08:00

whaddup guys. haven't been blogging for almost a month. really lazy these days. wanted to study, but end up doing something else anyways. and never thought of blogging. i don't know what is wrong with me, but i just didn't feel like. i wanted so much to sleep, but i'll always have something to do at night. and then i cant get up in the morning, i slept in class. like yesterday. throughout the one hour of Physics lesson, my head was down on the table, as well as Emily. Mr See didn't really care too. i mean, he kind of looked at me and looked disappointed. but i cant help it. i mean, i really have this thing against physics. i just cant get it right. never understood it. and end up dreading lessons. it wont help me in any way. i know. but i don't know what to do. its like, the more i hate, the more i wont be be able to understand it. so, im trying so hard to like it. its not working though. im sincerely guilty for it.

busy week, lazy life i had. its like, i have so many things to do, yet i didn't. Coach is leaving us, infect, she has already left. but not totally. im glad she isn't. i know it wont hit me as hard as the juniors, because i don't have to go for trainings since last term, so its been long, and i've cried about it long ago. so, when i heard the news, i felt like crying, but i didn't. :)

skyped with Val and Em. ohmaigash. missed Val like asdfghjkl. no idea. shall do it again soon.

anyways, im getting sleepy and all. early day again tomorrow. and its a long day. will blog about it if it goes well. goodnight.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag

2011-03-20T11:43:00.011+08:00

hey people. 14 days since the last post, and i didn't post about my birthday too. OMG. what lazy shit ive been.

MONDAY- WENT TO NYP AND NPARKS. apparently i didn't take any photos at the mangrove. :( should've seen it there. pretty and smelly. hahaha. but it was fun. being a PLASTIC BAG. ^^

TUESDAY.

OKAY, I CANT BELIEVE IM ACTUALLY SIXTEEN! i bet if someone were to ask me how old i am, id say FIFTEEN.

so, it s15 MARCH 2011. my birthday. i swear, this is the first birthday i had to go back to school. it has always been on the holiday, and nobody would actually see me. so yea, this whole March holiday wasn't. especially for art and dnt students. so our break was at 9.30. LOVE got me a cake, and a soft toy that looks like Matthio's father. when i walk to the canteen, sec 4 art and some dnt students were there, singing a birthday song. i seriously don't know what to do. so yea, cut the cake a stuff. then Chaoyi gave me a painting book, shipped from NewZealand. it was fucking pretty can? it was in Italian though. i shall google word by word when i have some free time, and hopefully translated the book, and by then, i should know some italian. hahaha. went to S11 foodcourt. wanted to eat prata. and the indian aunty just didn't take our orders. -.- waited for nothing, till the break ends. gaddammit laaaaa. okay, back to artroom, sec fives sang another birthday song for me. seriously, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! k, was there till 1. had McDonald's with Love. okay, home. webcam with Love till i fell asleep. :P

WEDNESDAY.

art art art. then tuition.

THURSDAY.

art. home. Love waited for me, and sent me to Causeway Point to meet Maria, Sheela and Xinpei. went to Orchard first Ion, then FarEast. then back to Ion doe Swensens. okay, to AngMoKio. went to queue for Koi, and searching for KTV. okay, found, fucking expensive, but its the only time that the four of us is going out together. because most of the time, we'r not free. so just took the price. :( sang till i nearly lost my voice because i was screaming when i cant reach the note. ahha. okay, we actually went crazy. especially when Maria and i was singing Brick By Boring Brick, i broke a glass. and i kept on screaming. -.- didn't care about the glass. when time's up, quickly paid, and rushed out. Sheela was like, "faster, my father come already". LMAO. took the last train home.

FRIDAY.

art. off at 10.30, had 3 egg pratas. fat die me. so i was too hyper, acting like i was from Minds. i was like, drunk. cant walk properly. how can i be that hyper? i really don't know. haha. Love held my hand tightly, and wouldn't let me go. if not, i would've fell many times. aww. ILY. then he went for prayers. okay, i fell asleep. woke up again, it was going to be 3pm! okay, Love came over, then we went to Woodlands Waterfront. met Annie, Shafiq, Dillon and Shafiq's brother. Yingjie and Ian joined us later. so we were climbing the ropes and there's this boy, who came up halfway, and didn't dare to go down. he end up crying while his parents were guiding him how to come down. he was like, raising his voice, "cannot! its too shaky!" i yea, some kids purposely shake the ropes. haha. i did it too. so did Love. :P

SATURDAY.

went to the library with Xinpei. tables were empty. rare! so we were PHOTOBOOTHING, then Eunice pop out of nowhere in the picture. both of us got scared. LOLOLOL. then Yuping and David came. then Alfred and Kevin. then Asyura and Tasha. then Matthio and Leon. then Chaoyi. then Rano. basically, many sec fours were there. everyone went home, left with Maria, Xinpei, Chaoyi and me. went "shoppig". got a shirt. haha. wanted something else too, but i didnt. didnt find something. :(

i think im going to Sembawang Shopping Centre later, to get a new uniform. the current one is so freaking dirty. and some shopping too perhaps. the thing is, im alone. LOL. shall get something huh? hah.

ohgayyyy, i shall get to work naoz. have been procrastinating since 11.30. oh, jeeeeeeeez, that was long. byeeee.

What The Hell

2011-03-04T22:34:00.004+08:00

sorry for not updating for almost a month. not really busy, but just plain lazy. whoa, it rhymes! haha. anyways, for the whole month of february, i can confidently say that i was feeling sleepy in class, and i have to admit that i slept during art after school lesson. does not feel good at all. however, i found a cure! HARIBO! i just pop it in my mouth every time im feeling sleepy. so for this week only, i was able to stay awake throughout every lesson, till i come home. i felt like dying when i have to wake up in the morning, of course.

SPORTS HEATS. i didnt win anything, ran for 100m x 4 relay. yea, the only event. i have to mention about Shafiq. he ran for a few events, and this particular event, 800m u17 guys. he was OBVIOUSLY LEADING! he was the first throughout the first round. and the second, he started to slow down. i was like, what!?!?!?! he couldve won! everyone overtook him, even for the last few metres to the finish line, people were overtaking him. it was really wasted. and then they said Shafiq was unconscious! Annie was really worried. he's gotten better now anyways.

this week, many tests. i think i did really badly for each of them. just failed Geography. like asdfghjkl! just took Chemistry and Physics test today. didnt study for physics, but i did for chem. so if i just pass physics, that would be great already. talking about this, im starting to worry for O's. i havent been studying regularly. im feeling the pressure. omgomgomg.

as for art, im feeling very demoralized. i have been drawing only a few things in 3 hours each day. what have i been doing? angryyyyy. wasting my time, and letting my A1 fly away. gosh, i have to work hard nowwwww.

Val's leaving on Sunday already. isnt it too fast? currently not feeling anything yet, but i thing on Sunday, Changi airport's gonna flood.

not feeling very well now, but i was thinking of doing Emaths now. how? early day tomorrow again. got to wake up at 6.30. waaaaaaaaa. k, i think im going to sleep soon. shall see if im going to do emaths.

bye.

Fulian Nu Pai

2011-02-08T22:17:00.003+08:00

havent been posting for about a week huh. 6 days. so, CNY for me wasnt so fun after all. first time being in Singapore for Chinese New Year too. and i just realize that Singapore look so haunted. many shops were closed, foodcourts too. maybe a few stalls. but seriously.

so i was at home on Thursday, having a movie marathon. MeanGirls 2, The Princess and Frog, Alice in Wonderland (cartoon version; fucking boring), Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2, Big Boy (Thai) and My Valentine (also Thai). ate 4 oranges throughout the day. and guess what, i've got diarrhea the next day. went to the toilet like 5 times in 2 hours.

Friday, went to meet Xinpei and Hongye, went to Xiaojun's place to 'bai nian', without oranges. how pathetic. then to Xinpei's. Xinpei and i then went over to Maria's. so we were finding where is Maria's house. there were like, 4 lifts? idk. each lift for 2 units on each floor. 14 floors altogether, so 28 units own an elevator. haha. anyways, Sacha and Samantha were there. and this girl, that reminds me of Wencan, Huilin. totally. they look alike, same skin tone, similar hairstyle. and especially the way they talk! OMG. she's really friendly. she's was a volleyballer at Nanyang, and we were talking about volleyball. she plays subset, same as Xinpei. okay, then we were talking about Stephanie and Tingshan as our seniors. and she was like, OMG. STEPHANIE! IM HER BIGGEST FAN. SHE'S SO PRETTY... and something like that. and Xinpei talked about Melvin Goh as her ex. and omg, she knows Melvin too. AND THEY BOTH WERE SCREAMING. and seriously, idk who is Melvin laaaaaa. i mean. i literally know who, but idk how he looks like. all i know is, HE'S HOT. haha. okay, enough about that. Sheela finally came. and we were playing Indian poker. funnnnnn. Sacha and Huilin had to leave. just as they were outside the house, wearing their shoe, Zhengyu and Zhonghao came. and Zhonghao was like, why Wencan here? but he knows that it wasnt her. LOL. joker. then Jiawei came. watched Taxi Tonight 2. it was the worst movie ive seen. omg. it was Thai, but none of the actor looks familiar to me. must be some kind of underdog movie. suck like hell lah. ashamed because its Thai! played 'cheat'. i lost. LOL. i had to do a forfeit, but i didnt. like, sexy dance? LOL, so me. see the irony there? so i didnt feel like playing anymore. then they were watching G.I. Joe. i didnt feel like watching either, and fell asleep. gosh. so i woke up and saw Zhonghao in front of me with a tube of colgate. i looked around, Jiawei was beside me. he had 2 spots of colgate on his left cheek, and JON on Jonathan's arm and Zhengyu, his whole face, one big spot on his nose. k, i went back to sleep, and guess what, when i woke up again, it was because i felt something on my face. sure aint comfortable. true enough, colgate was on my face. looked around again. Sheela's got it on her face too, and Xinpei on her leg. wanted to revenge on the mastermind, but he just keep waking up when we want to get that colgate tube. slept again. woke up at around 7, the guys had to leave. left with Sheela, Xinpei and me. k, we showered and everything. was watching Scary movie 1 and 2, when they ordered KFC. and yknow whut, we fell asleep again. when we realize that we had to leave, Sheela's already gone. she went home first. stayed at Maria's house for like 23 hours? almost a day! haha.

Sunday, slept for half a day. and that makes the rest of the day sleepy for me. goodness. shouldnt have slept for so long. woke up at almost 2pm! omg. latest everrrrr. had lunch, and wanted to do my homework. saw the assignments, felt sleepy. and i just wont wake up with the alarm ringing every 5 minutes. OMG. im like dead. after dinner, which is around 8pm, watched Avalon High. you bet, its another Disney movie. then watched Aladdin. but didnt watch the whole movie, the internet got cut first. and it came back at around 2am. and watched a little more, it went off again at 3am sharp, so i couldnt finish my Aladdin. :( went to sleep.

Monday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNIEEEEE!

school. had coffee, no worries. i was really focused. wanted to go and get a hamster cage, and i called mummy. wanted to ask her for money actually. but! she just dont let me. and she was very angry. so, my hamster no more. OMG. sorry Beechan. k, her mom's gonna sell it to pet shops alreadyyyyy. :(

TODAYYY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TAN YING JIE. NICHOLAS CHAN.KELVIN WONG. SHAWNALD YEONG.

many birthdays huh. attended only English and Geography class, and i missed both A and E maths. god. so dead. had homework too.

okay, volleyballers went to Presbyterian High, and we had a match with Anderson. dont want to elaborate. but we didnt do very well today. gosh. i totally regret this. angry. couldve won. but anyways, we've got our team back. i dont know why im not as angry as i thought id be if we lost the top 4 position. i thought id die of depress. but no. had team talk. all the conflicts are gone now. leaving a very good memory only. that should be the way isnt it. played set games, it was our last training, i guess. sad, but definitely going to cherish it. was a little high too. idk why! but aint that bad. haha. walked home under the rain. and i think im getting sick nao.

a little too brief for this part, shall write about it again next time.

going off to find some stuff for art, and going to do my Math homework given today. guai. heee. goodbye.

The Green Hornet

2011-02-02T23:52:00.004+08:00

i shall start off with something good. CNY celebration at school today. And seriously, i think this is the first time our class actually really did something. The idea was great, and it came out nice. The lion dance were cute too. Haha. Seriously. When the lion wags its tail, obviously its the guy wagging his butt. Okay, imagine a muscular guy doing that. LOLed for a long time. Back to class, did what we were supposed to do. Completed just in time. Actually, exceeded a little. Haha. Went to the hall for the concert. The performance i liked the most were obviously Chinese dance. EMILY WAS SO CUTE UP THERE. I totally can spot her because of her smile. Well, everybody said that. Haha. Omg. I still remember a few of her moves. Haha. Dismissed. Kasandra, Xinpei, Xintien and i went out of school, found Albert and Kianshen at the bus stop, went to causeway point immediately. Booked our tickets for THE GREEN HORNET first. Unfortunately Kianshen had to go off early as he's going to Malaysia earlier than planned. Minghwee couldnt come either. Okay, had lunch at KFC. Like after idk how long, i finally ate KFC. Xinpei too. But i think its quite a long time, we should be proud we've endured for so long. Hahahha.

Went into the cinema. And yay, we're watching THE GREEN HORNET. JayChou was so cool. Im not even his fan. Omgomgomg. Haha. And the ending were hilarious. Xinpei and i totally boomed the cinema. Haha. Im smiling about it now. Haha.

So i came home, everyone had to leave early to prepare for CNY. I have no idea why i was so tired that i fell asleep for an hour, and wake up to prepare for tuition. Had dinner, and left home. Tuition was fucking fun. Somehow, its fun agitating Ricardo. Haha. Well, he irritated me too. LOL. But overall, it was enjoyable, that i even forgot the time. It ended really quickly, as usual. Annie said i was so high during tuition. And now the teacher knows i sleep in class. -.-

as for some other stuff,

theres a lot of conflict going on lately. i wont do anything until it disturbs me. but unfortunately i saw something disturbing on facebook yesterday. Obviously, being me, i wont just sit there and ignore. Im not that kind of person who let go of things easily. So well, being my strawberry season even, dont expect me to just sit there and keep quiet. Well, i know you'll be reading this. Duh! So im telling you straight, that this is my space, just like what you said, i reserve the rights to write anything. So dont ask me to stop writing stuff you dont like. Because the more you try to stop me, the more i will go against it. Putting stuff up on facebook, does it help? You pissed me, and i and pissed you. Whats the point? Trying to tell the whole world? Go on. I wont stop you. Do whatever you want. Neither do i GIVE A DAMN. I swear i never wanted this. I just wanted you to know how i, and a few of us felt when you said something that a lot of us wont want to hear. And little did i know, you actually stalks this space. It suited my purpose perfectly. Now you know. But i really dont think that youre stupid enough to not understand. And you just make a fuss out of it. Since you poured the oil, i'll be the one who lights up the fire. Dont say that i 'shoot' you first. After all, you were the one who triggered every single thing that pissed you off, by me. Dont try to be the innocent one here. It wont be the same as your previous conflict, that broke your heart. You totally made everyone think that youre innocent. I WONDER HOW YOU DO THAT. I used to think you were innocent too, but youre totally the opposite. Because i know it was entirely your fault. That guy is SO SMART. HE TOTALLY SEE IT THROUGH YOU.

OH, WAITING FOR WORLD WAR 3 HUH? I'LL GIVE YOU A HEADSTART. YOU LIKE THAT? DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. I SHALL BE WAITING. (:

Pause

2011-01-31T22:23:00.004+08:00

im just in love with my class tee. seriously, its so nice! we are so VIVACIOUS. heeeeee.

okay, had training on saturday. this is like, almost our last chance to brush up before our final match which decides whether are we in the top 4. i want this real bad. and i wont let my teammates step down so easily until CCAs stand down. i will fight this battle all i can, and i believe that they wont let me do this alone. and for some, who are dying to step down, then im sorry in advance because that wont be so easy. stumbled across a blog today. a teammate's. honestly, i dont usually go to this blog, but something triggers me to visit it. so i saw a few paragraphs that totally disgusts me. being a part of this team, is the best thing you can ever get in your secondary school life. well, i believe so. and if you dont, you shouldnt even say that its a torture. it was your choice joining this team. your choice playing this sport. and you dont come here and just destroy everyone's dream. my dream. anyways, i wont be saying much now. maybe after nationals. i think i cant hold it any longer.

had lunch at MosBurger at CausewayPoint with Xinpei. and seriously, why must it be located somewhere so open! its right beside the taxi stand, and felt so exposed! LOL. while Xinpei was queuing to order, i went over to the watson's sale beside. omg. everything is just so cheappppp! bought a few stuff, and the most exciting one, CADBURY CARAMELLO!

sunday morning rain is falling. yes. it was raining! and the sky just wont be any brighter. i thought it was like 7am when sun starts to rise. but hell no, it was 10am, and its not even bright. so it was raining. what a lazy sunday. and guess what. despite having so much homework, i was watching Tangled online. did a few qns of Chemistry and Amaths, went out to get some stuff at causeway point, yes, the CADBURY CARAMELLOS. i think its 5 cents more expensive than the other places, but caramellos arent available everywhere. so i guess 5 cents aint much. heeeee. i finished the bar i bought on saturday already. :( came home and dine on a packet of maggi mee, watching the Bee Movie. and followed by Alice In The Wonderland. omg? 3 movies in one day? when i have a pile of work to do. goshhhh.

Monday bluesssss. i was struggling to stay awake in class today. especially Amaths. i cant follow the lesson! understood, but i dont know whether can i do it again. LOL. went to the library, wanted to watch upper secondary classes participating in taboo. well, end up being a participant. well, didnt regret it. it was fun and exciting. especially when Alphonsus is there. so yea, Alphonsus, Diviyanth, Esther, Syarafina and me. and seriously, i want to kill Germaine. i really dont understand whyyyyyy. she's always disturbing our class while we were guessing the words. and gave us false alarm, told us to stop, when other classes havent. fair? omg. i havent be so against Germaine before. i mean, until i come and post about it. HAHA. anyways, we got third place, 4-1 was the first, and 4-2 second. well im quite satisfied. :) walked home, because the rain stopped! haha.

so, im going off now, gotta complete the rest of my homework and do some complicated Amaths revision. goodbye.

Despondent

2011-01-28T22:15:00.004+08:00

greetings to all my readers. whether there are any.

so i totally flunk my physics the other day. i learnt the formulas but all the definitions came out. so hopeless. so i came home, studying for Emaths test. tuition at 7.30. learnt all about number patterns. and guess what, none of it were any close to number pattern. and the one i hated most came out, cumulative frequency, like alot okay. tbt!

training yesterday for me was awful. i hated self training the most. its like, im not important, yknow. i hate this feeling. and i hated my performance yesterday. i got angry with everything. but i started throwing tantrums only after someone added salt and pepper into it. so i was pissed throughout the training. i cried. i havent overcome that emotion barrier after all. what a failure. so i walked home, being pissed. reached home, my room was too clean. the shelves were empty. my books were gone. it was actually in boxes under the bed. even more pissed. all my sec 4 books are everywhere under the bed. this makes me want to move out of this place so badly. so sissie isnt here in Singapore anymore. slept alone for the first time, different feeling. i really dont know how long am i going to be able to live like this.

woke up this morning. sissie isnt beside me anymore. went to school. and yea, ive gotten my YOG certificate! with my name printed on it an recognizes me as an ARTIST FOR THE OLYMPIC WALK TREE PLAQUE MOTIF. i just feel proud of myself because this is not any ordinary certificate. it was given by MOE! not just a school certificate. its something BIG.

struggled to stay awake during Chemistry. seriously, i slept my normal sleeping time. but i wasnt a least bit sleepy during physics. whoa? so different from last year. i was always sleepy in physics class but so attentive during chemistry. haha. recess, and off to PHS. played against PHS today. i obviously couldnt hold my hope too high that we will win, but all i wanted was to perform well. it wouldnt be strange that we lose to them. after all, they are a volleyball niched school. the first half of the first set went really well. we were following them by 2-4 points until they reached 20 i guess? and all of a sudden, the 2-4 points gone up to 7-8 points, and they won. the second set, i really wanted a better score. but i felt like the harder i try, the harder i could earn each point. i was feeling really hopeless. despondent. i received all the out balls, and let the in balls drop to the floor. what is wrong with me?

coach pull me out 3 points before PHS won. 22. i was starting to cry. and PHS won. shook hands. i wasnt angry at them at all. i was actually happy for them. i think i idolize Huitien. her spikes were so pretty. her arm swing was so fast, her jump was so high. like duh, thats why she's in combined school. so we lost, i cried. i suck, i should die. nobody cried. only me.

went back to school, my eyes were still red from the crying. but after going back to class, i was extremely happy. i was so glad that these people are my classmates. they can make me laugh even when im at my lowest. where can you find people like this in the world? went distributing oranges to the assigned block. Chaoyi and i did second floor, with only 6 bags of oranges. and there were like 12 houses? HAHA. went up to find Val and Runfa on the 12th storey. end up eating the oranges. back down to meet the class. and back to school. waited at the canteen, and finally Old Chang Kee came. i ate alot. ps, I WAS FUCKING HUNGRY after the match. as always. thanks to MdmChan amd MrSee, other classes were obviously envious of us. HAHA. 4-1 were celebrating someone's birthday too. idk who. Lingyi came to our table and was like, "this class better. got chicken wing". they had cakes. well, we had the cake they had too. OMG. I TOTALLY LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT MY CLASS. BE JEALOUS PEOPLE, FROM OTHER CLASSES. teeheeeeeee.

came home, and was thinking for hours about why i cried. so i realize that it was because i gave up in the game. i know it was impossible to catch up when we havent even hit 10 on the scoreboard, and they so near to the match point. the fact that they are PRESBYTERIAN HIGH SCHOOL, there are nothing that we can do to win with that kind of score. but. the true spirit is to not give up. i should have done my best till the last whistle. why didnt i? it was too much, till it was obvious that coach had to pull me out. i end up crying again. WHY ON EARTH CANT I GET RID OF THIS HABIT? gosh.

alright. i promise, i wont ever let that happen to me again. i am going to do my best, because this is what i always wanted to do. to play volleyball. it was myself who chose this path out of so many. i shall convince everyone that this is the right one.

Its Physics

2011-01-25T20:21:00.004+08:00

waddhup homies. i actually wonder why i am here in the first place when there's a physics test tomorrow. and i should seriously be studying. anyways, im going to share a good news.

WE'RE THROUGH TO THE SECOND ROUND!

the next game would be on friday. ikr? its so fast! we'll be playing against Presbyterian High. its going to be a tough game, but i will still do my best.

missed many lesson today. 4 periods of math! omfg. i have no idea what have been done in class. major catching up to do yo. left class at 10.30, it was recess. and then it was geography. 2 consecutive geography lessons. and yea, the four periods of math. so we headed to PHS. Yishun were playing with Sembawang. soon it was our turn. freaking fast. i was happy that i could ace a few balls in the beginning. and were leading 6-0. and i dont know what the hell happened that made them catch up and nearly lost that frigging set. ended with Yuping's service. second set, i aced a few again. feel so damn good okay? like they totally missed the ball. a few was float. haha. omg. i loike. heeeeeeeee. and we won with the nicest score this season. 25-9. obviously our opponent would cry. if i were them, i think i would too. its like our last year in B div and obviously want to win. i was damn happy to know that we're through. definitely will be happier if we're in top 4 for NorthZone. stayed back and watched PHSvsEVG and then CCHYvsSJC. then, Xinpei went to draw lots for round 2. first with Presbyterian High this friday. wish us all the best. :) i so going to do my best. and we'll be playing Anderson next next tuesday. after CNY. on the 8th. and if we win any of this, we'll be in the top 4!

alright, going to read my physics textbook nowwwwwwwwww. goodbye.

Easy Come Easy Go

2011-01-23T15:15:00.006+08:00

whats up. just came back home a while ago. went to AMK to get my new Ezlink card done. yea, i went alone. and everything was done even faster than i thought. shall consider going out alone more often. so im now home, getting dinner later. okay, making this quick, sorry for any typos. im going to continue with my Maths later.

Thursday, assembly, then AMaths lesson by MrSiva. hmmm. left class, and were having lunch with teammates, when they started talking about stuff we've done together and hilarious things we've been through. i've forgotten about somethings that they remembered. but when they talked about it, the pictures of those days came back. and i was laughing at myself. at the day that i tripped while chasing after a ball that flew away and fell flat onto the floor. and the second time, a similar ball. i chased it half way, and i stopped. i remembered that i tripped at that exact spot. everybody was laughing too, they have not forgotten it. typing this, im still smiling. omg. and some other stuff. all those days have gone by. i missed it. okay, went to PHS. ours were the first match. with Woodlands Sec. everyone didnt really play up to standard. the score wasnt like what i wanted to see at all. even though we won, i'm not as proud. we couldve done much more better. alright, im still proud of myself that i havent shed any tear this season. and hope it would be like this all the way. back to school, didnt want to go back to class. i didnt bring any material. and it was english. half an hour left. had to go back anyways. MrsLim were asking about the match too. i said we won but didnt do well, can do better. she was like, you guys won, but couldve done better. and then talks to the class. setting high standards. this is something you can learn from the volleyball girls. every pair of eyes were then on me. i was like, errrrr? and didnt dare to look up. paiseh, yknow.

training without coach. quite boring . and it ended earlier. came back home and yea, thats it.

Friday. went to PHS with Kianshen, Siewming and Xinpei after school to watch some other schools play. Yishun and Hougang was playing when we reach. they both took a set, and was playing the third. and hougang was leading. i really wanted Yishun to win, because i feel that the referee werent being fair. theres this ball, Yishun attacked and it landed obviously on the line or in, but i was fucking sure that it wasnt out. the referee gave the point to hougang. we were all like, wth? obviously Yishun's point right. most of the people there saw it too. gosh, feel like shouting referee kayu. but. obviously it has nothing to do with me. and i dont want to land myself into a problem. waht if he's the ref for our game? so i felt sorry for yishun. very. especially because some of them are my friends.

Saturday. training in the morning. Woodlands Primary volleyballers came. i must say the senior girls are good. i totally gave my thousand percent training. tried to do everything correctly, but ofcourse i havent got everything right. i was seriously tired, but i dont know why. i dont even feel like jumping to spike. jump spiking have been the best thing in volleyball for me. and now, i didnt feel like jumping? something must be wrong right. then i know that it wasnt only me. a few said they were tired too. but still, no idea why. anyways, all i have to say is i did my best. in anyway i could. a few know what my aim is, for working hard. i'll tell you if it comes true. :) rushed home to shower then headed to Serangoon with W2F8 to get a Phiten for Kas. so nice lah can? wanted to buy for myself too, but expensive like asdfghjkl. and i would be standing down soon. :( Xinpei and Xintien went own at AMK to get KOI, Kianshen, Minghwee, Siewming and i came to admiralty first. waited for them then headed to Kas's house. had fun sharing stories that we never knew. i felt good telling it out too. time to go home. Albert and Kasandra walked me to admiralty, and i took bus home. everybody was asleep when i reach home. it was 12 something. idk. haha. sissie were still on her way home. even worse right.

Today. had plenty of sleep, but i still am suffering from lack of sleep. seriously, how long more must i sleep to feel healthy again? i have been feeling like i need to sleep all the time. even now. gosh. went to AMK hub to get my new ezlink card. yes. again. i think ive spent over a hundred bucks on replacing a concession card. LOL. bus-ed back home. it was a serious long ride. felt like vomiting a few times, maybe it was too bumpy. back home. im going to do my maths and some revision now. so, blog again next time which i dont know when. goodbye.

TOO-EE-TION

2011-01-19T22:49:00.003+08:00

stickies are the only thing im having during my study time. it helps, but too much aint good. itll make you fat. everybody knows that. LOL.

just came back from tuition. seriously, this is my first proper tuition in my life. the tuition teacher was pretty. very. so there werent many people, just Annie, Shafiq, Shuqri, Zikri, another guy from Woodlands sec and me. 6 of us. and i think im delaying the lesson. like, im the slow one there. i never thought id be this lousy. :( anyways, i liked the lesson. haha.

lost to Sembawang the other day, won Yishun yesterday. will be meeting Woodlands tomorrow. be ready, im gonna kill you guys. im telling straight that im confident that we're going to the second round. just wish us luck to get through the second round too alright? haha.

the purple sports bra i bought with Xinpei on Sunday is so nice! the colour, the design. omgomgomg. but a little too tight. i know its supposed to be, its SPORTS bra. anyways, i'm still excited to wear it again tomorrow. haha.

okay, i dont know why i'm even here blogging, when i have tons of homework lying on the table and stuffed in my bag waiting to be done. im watching America's got talent now. another trap. ohmygoddddddd. when can i be focused? i just said today that i will definitely do better than sissie in O's. someone even said not to be complacent. LOL. im so going to prove to that person, and do well in O's. right. thats the spirit. TEEHEE. but im sad to say that im so dead that i cant even solve sec three elementary maths. i take hours. and, emaths lesson today, we were doing standard deviation. i cant even solve it! wtf right? i was so upset. can i be any more stupid? freaking cried again. second time crying while to maths in class. i have no idea why those tears came so easily. grrrrr.

well, im going to buck up. cant wait to step down too. but, i still want to win this. so im not giving up. i have to work double hard. yes. cant procrastinate anymore okayyyyyyyy?

going to get a goodnight rest. byebye.

YOU GET? OK

2011-01-14T22:07:00.003+08:00

the featuring song for the movie i watched. but i couldnt find the part that i was telling the team about. i thought it would be useful for the team to cheer up after today's match and stand up again.

theres this guy who wants to be a singer so badly. he went for an audition. but the judge said he didnt pass. he smiled. real wide. the judge were confused. "i said you didnt pass the audition. why are you smiling? are you crazy?" so the guy replied " my father once told me, if i lose but i still manage to smile, im better than the winner".

i had butterflies flying all around me and in my stomach this morning. couldnt eat breakfast properly. i was scared, i admit. but i know that we're better than the other team, as long as we believe, i think its true. throughout Chemistry and Physics lesson too. when it was time to go, i had the most butterfly in my tummy ever. it was everywhere. we reached PHS, and headed to the sports hall. watched PHS VS SJC a while. and did our warm ups, SMB came, and the game started.

we took the first set. it was tiring enough. the second were breathtaking. the score went up till 30. our match point came a few times, but we didnt take the opportunity. i would say it was a waste. really wasted. they took the second and third set. we lost. overall, i think we did well, but we werent at our best. we coulve done better. the game couldve been ours.

i would say that my performance today was 60-70 percent. which obviously was one of the games that i played better than normal, but i could have done better. first game for this season wasnt bad but not good either. but im still determined to win the other matches. North Zone top 4 must be ours. WOODLANDS RING.

anyways, there were a few supporter from WRS who cabbed down to watch us play. and MdmChan was there too. didnt expect her to come. but she was there. MrBen, our number 1 fan? he would always be there whenever he can. and he was doing his reservice! volleyball-in-charge teachers were all there.

alright. training tomorrow. sissie's not home yet. and im going to sleep soon. goodnight.

Demoralized

2011-01-10T20:13:00.002+08:00

woke up late. 7.15. ten minutes before school. like, wtf? how can i be so late. pissed off to the max, and the maid didnt wake me up. stupid or stupid? MsSerene called home. and the maid picked up. and she said I WAS SLEEPING! MsSerene had a shock when she saw me in school.

gotten our ART O LEVEL COUSEWORK QUESTION today. all were difficult. and some easier ones would be common. i seriously have no idea of which to pick. okay, i have alot of brainstorming to do. and i havent finish my Emaths holiday assignment!

so the seniors came back to school. 4-4 were helping. including me. i was stationed at 4-3, and i watched the seniors collect their results. wake up call for me. and i was demoralized too. a few were crying, but i didnt see a guy who cried. i seriously want to do well this year. so im going to study hard and hope that i will fail any subjects. *cross fingers* i shall go now, and STUDY. everyone has started their revision. i havent. i should have.

goodbye.

Endorphin

2011-01-09T17:27:00.002+08:00

am totally in no mood to blog these days. honestly, i don't want to. blogging is the only way that im going to remember my past. yea, i don't write diaries. well, used to, irk? its lame, but i got lazy. and my diary is not even a quarter full. so i gave up writing diaries.

so my life aint any better. wenesday, thursday and friday. all the same. deadlines for holiday assignments are on fire at my ass. which i haven't completed any since then. sleeping really little each night. and its only the first week of school! i really felt like giving up school. LOL. its just a feeling okay? it wont happen. i want the O levels cert. it will be like one of the greatest achievement vie ever thought i would get. provided i get good grades. so im going to do my best this year. but i wont promise. my limit is really low. cant expect a lot from me academically. so i volunteered myself to be the class vice chairperson. but wasn't voted. sighs. so i made myself the green ambassador. the reason is, i want some leadership certificate in my student portfolio, and another point for my CCA report card. seriously, im going to use the word jealous. im jealous of the captains and councillors. for captains, especially Chaoxin and Xinpei. they got a point each year. and captains usually don't change for our team. maybe for other sport CCAs. so until now, they've gotten at least 4 points for being captains. and representing school? how many more? and plus other things. obviously compared to people like me, im like a nobody in school that plays only volleyball. the points i get most is from representing school for 4 years. and coming to councillors. my name were in the list. i went for the activities they organized, and the next day was supposed to be the interview. i fell sick. and that was the first time that i fell sick until i felt like i was going to faint. like, is this a sign that i shouldn't be a councillor? so until now, im jealous of councillors that they get many opportunities to do things, and the get points. imagine if i were to be one of them. by now i should have hit A1. okay, ive gotten another point this year. and i don't know what grade does that make.

alright. many Birthdays came crashing in this week and next. and im still busy with holiday assignments! the dead dead deadline is on monday. yes. and i still have Emaths, English and Geography to be done. thinking about it, i think i shouldn't even be blogging now. no time management huh? i really think im hopeless. will i be able to do anything in my life properly? like, anything. sighs.

anyways. had training yesterday. coach didn't come. she was sick. so throughout the training session, i think doing this is no point.

rushed home to shower. rushed to meet Kianshen and Minghwee at CausewayPoint. yea, to buy Siewming's birthday present. i thought they bought it already. but well, im glad i was there to choose between one and another of which to buy. it was like already 7, so we walked to Siewming's house. i thought we were late. but guess whuttt. no one reached yet. so we waited a while. went down to fetch Xinpwi and Xintien, then Albert. Kas couldn't come. :( so since W2F8 were formed, we haven't have an official meeting yet. so went went up to Siewming's house. and began our steamboat barbecue dinner. and i seriously whine over a crab stick. haha. because i was barbecuing it for so long, waiting for it to turn crispy. then Kianshen just took it. grrrrr! i waited so long! and it was the second last piece! so they gave me the last one, and Siewming went down to get 2 more packets of crab stick. haha. so i had the idea of barbecuing something else. i barbecued fishballs. didn't taste so bad after all. heeeeeee. after Siewming opened all the presents. Kianshen and Minghwee were doing magic tricks. i was really fascinated my Minghwee's trick. even after they kind of told me how. i still couldn't do it. so time flew. and before i knew it, it was 11.15. i had to reach home before 12! Albert had to reach home by 12 too. so we left Siewming's house and all went home. Albert sent me to the bus stop, and waited with me. waited for almost 20 minutes, and it didn't come until Albert had to leave. so i reached home later than 12. aunty didn't nag. surprising huh? or she didn't care anymore? if thats the case, id be more than happy.

BAE YONG JOON

2011-01-04T22:23:00.003+08:00

"pee bae ruk took kon na krubbbbb" remember this phrase? from HELLO STRANGER.

whats up guys. im back here in singapore. secondary four life is beginning. i smell dreadfulness. urghhh. aunty doesnt welcome me back this time round. her face is just disappointed upon seeing me. my life is going to be so miserable this year. avoiding each other's face. how am i going to survive. omfg.

first day of school were quite alright. wasnt caught for anything. i repeat, ANYTHING. AT ALL. first time ever, that i wasnt scolded by anyone on the first day of school. MdmChan is still ou form teacher, and co-form, MrSee. he'll be teaching us physics too. but now, i dont look forward to any lesson at all. obviously because of the holiday assignments. i think i wont be sleeping so early today. Runfa as well. we're trying to complete it. MrsKok will be coming to class tomorrow. i think im gonna die anyways. PRAY HARD THAT NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

gotta go now. before aunty comes in and see me using the internet. and i shall update again sometime later. goodbye.

Nice to not know you

2010-12-19T03:16:00.000+08:00

i was right about staying at home. and the same thing happened. i bought new pens and notebooks to motivate me, but it didnt work this time. held my pen for about half an hour while watching tv. after all the shows i wanted to watch, ofcourse i have nothing else to do but homework. after clearing the able and brought down my assignments, my eyes felt heavy. its always like that. but i know why. i have been sleeping at around 5am for 3 nights in a row and waking up before 10am. duh. so i took a nap on the sofa. before i knoew it, 4 hours had passed. my brother came back with HelloStranger cd. he finally rented it. obviously i watched it right away. negleacted the stack that was right before my eyes. so disappointed in myself right now. i should be. .

the team must have missed Siewming and me alot. HAHAHA. LMAO. we're both in Thailand. wanted to meet her that day when she was in Bangkok. wasnt free. so she's in Phayao now. so going to meet her when she comes back to Bangkok again around 26th or 27th. heeeee.

anyways. i was talking to Xinpei a few hours ago. i was worried about my position in the team since im away from training. obviously everybody wants to be in the main. either six or twelve. but i think twelve is not for me. six is. if it was by ranking. i would want first. heard from Xinpei that coach praised me today. i was happy. OBVIOUSLY. but i didnt hear it myself. its a different feeling. yknow. i would smile for days if i heard it.

okay, going to bed early today, byeeeee.

Silence

2010-12-18T04:55:00.001+08:00

its been long since i posted huh. just totally lost the mood to blog because ive been indulginf myself with the entertainment ive got since i came back.the television is rightfully mine, the internet is on twenty four seven. I AM THE BOSS. my maid would always be there whenever i needed her. as compared to where i lived for the past seven years, out of Bangkok, the television was never mine. i had to borrow it. the internet was never enough. i had to sneak to use it. the maid simply just SUCK. okay, what a complete contrast. just finished the whole series, Playful Kiss (Korean ver. of ISWAK). if youre not a drama addict, you might not know. okay, 16 episodes of 1 hour, amazingly completed in 3 nights. yea, i have been sleeeping before sunrise, and waking up before breakfast. getting the side effects right now. anyways, since part 1 is over, i have part 2 to look forward to. which worries me. cos i'll have to be preparing for O's then. envied sissie like alot. she is living her carefree life now, before she begins a new term in wherever.

alright. have been going out alot these few days. went to the mall, grandma's, checking out our new house, office, getting neccessary stuff at random places. AND learning how difficult it was without a maid. i had to do almost everything myself. have been doing the dishes for 3 meals now. wonder why? they have to renew her passport. since theyre Karens, they have to bus back to get it done. okay, they left just yesterday. scheduled to be back earlier today, but i dont know what happened, it was delayed. i hope they come back soon. my brothers just wont wash the dishes and they always go down for supper. and their supper is after 1am. i just pity mom that she has to do it. i heard them downstairs a moment ago. talking about my brothers, im glad that at least they dont smoke in the toilet this time round. perhaps they got caught already? haha. idk.

staying at home tomorrow. so going to do homework. *cross fingers* not a promise though. i'll try to complete some. okay, going to sleep now. goodnight.

ETC

2010-12-14T02:20:00.000+08:00

sorry i didnt keep my word. i said i was going to blog, but i didnt. too tired, too lazy and whatever. anywho, im blogging right now. havent done anything progressive these days. went out of Bangkok to a temple which took about 5 hours to reach. so basicallly i spent half a day in the car, sleeping and eating. seriously nothing to do. grandma, mom, aunty, uncle and the driver infront, sissie and me behind. i swear it was noisy. not from sissie, uncle nor driver. purely form the three ladies. sissie had her iPod, and i have nothing in my ears! irritated much. so thats why, IT IS IMPORTANT FOR ME TO GET ONE! haha. asked mom about it. will go to dad soon. *evil laughs*

okay, that was a few days ago. and after that, im at home. 4 days now. wanted so much to complete my homework. if i can complete it by just staring, i swear, it would be long done. most probably going out tomorrow .makes me worry about homework again. just got really started a few hours ago. english. and stuck with the 7th question. then i have no mood to go on.

okay, was watching a show called Tonight Show. i think i blogged about this before. i was really freaked out. still about Korea's cosmetic surgery. nose job. they take this soft bone from the ear to insert inside the nose. like seriously, the whole process were filmed. while cutting, inserting, sewing. so going to have nightmares.

alright, off here. bye.

Bangkok

2010-12-09T01:59:00.002+08:00

hey homies. so im in Bangkok right now, tired like asdfghjkl. so i think i'll blog again later on today. dozing off already.

bye.

BIG BIRD

2010-12-02T23:59:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY BELOVED BROTHER, ALBERT.

dont dream it, be it

2010-11-30T23:55:00.003+08:00

went to catch HarryPotter and the Deathly Hallows with sissie at Cineleisure Orchard yesterday. werent very awesome, but its not too bad either. wandering around Orchard road after that. kind of boring, and guess whattttttt? i bought 6 Macarons for 12 bucks. i cant believe i splurged. like seriously? 2bucks for a macaron? but it sure didnt taste bad!

okay, had training today. everyone was like, sick. Siewming and Kelly kept running to the loo to vomit. a few was nauseous. including me, but not so bad. its just something in my stomach that wants to come out, upwards. sure doesnt feel good. managed to survive the whole day. :) dinner at Banquet, with Eden and Qiuheng accompanying me. by the time we were about to leave, it was raining. so the three of us end up playing in the rain. had so much fun until this uncle came in and said something to us and we dont understand what he was saying.spoiled our mood like totally. sat down at a shelter, chitchatting before coming home.

Bloglovin

2010-11-28T22:55:00.002+08:00

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WELCOME US BACK

2010-11-26T23:48:00.011+08:00

WRS VOLLEYBALL TRIP 2010 - FUJIAN, CHINA.

DAY ONE. 18.11.10

headed to Changi Airport, early in the morning. i swear i was having a bad headache. anyways, throughout the 4 hours flight to Xiamen, i was widley awake, watching a chinese movie, reading the subs. so when we reach, i was hoping for the weather to be extremely cold, but it disappoints me. not as cold as i expected. but lucky me that i didnt bring any winter jacket just a normal pull over, quite thick though. about an hour ride to Zhangzhou. checked in to our hostel rooms, mine was opposite Chaoxin and Xinpei's, and next to Kelly and Yuping's. did nothing till dinner. ate, showered, and lights out.

DAY TWO. 19.11.10

wake up call at 7am, seriously i didnt want to wake up. breakfast, then to training. the training place was about a kilometre, i guess, from our hostel. okay, training with China coach. then back to the hostel for lunch, and rest. slept for about 2 hours. back to training with coach, the friendlies with the Chinese. i was glad that i wasnt subbed out at all. which means, i played in all the sets! ahha. thats the only day though. back for dinner, showered and debrief at Chaoxin's room. lights out.

DAY THREE. 20.11.10

not different from day two. but instead of sleeping, all of us went to DaRunfa. it was a supermarket. a very big one. all of us went crazy over the cheapness. bought snacks like nobody's bussiness. i spent the most of 178 yuan. and carried all the stuff for training and back to the hostel. heavy like ASDFGHJKL!

DAY FOUR. 21.11.10

went to TULOU something. idk what is that, but it sure is boring. i cant understand a thing the tour guide was saying. i had to guess. obviously its not correct. LOL. coach taught me some photoshooting tips. i felt so, uhm.... NOOB. haha. okay, the weather was actually cooling, but i was wearing just the thick pull over with no shirt under, i couldnt take it off, leaving me swetaing like a mad dog. and the bus ride is sure long. a little dizzy, but not too bad. anyways, by the end of the trip, i was totally exhausted. and would rather have training.

DAY FIVE. 22.11.10

morning training and a few minutes workout. Deng? jiaolian mentioned that some of the players there do not go to school. and i swear, at that moment, everyone wants to go to school instead of doing this. i can hear especially Eden. and her face is really serious. haha. the rest were more or less the same.

DAY SIX. 23.11.10

normal training days.

DAY SEVEN. 24.11.10

morning training, lunch at a nearby restaurant, and head to Xiamen. said goodbye to MrDavid, our very good tour guide. THE BEST I'VE EVER SEEN. he looked sad when we left. same for the rest of us. and met a new tour guide, MsLucy. the long bus ride obviously gave me headaches. couldnt be any happier to see the hotel. 1009 was mine and Alison's room. next to Coach and MsToh's. and Chaoxin and Xinpei's. had dinner, and out to shopping. didnt really get anything, just a team bag and a bear keychain that the whole team bought together. and back to our rooms, showered and last debrief at Chaoxin's room. chatted till almost 1am. back to my room, pack and stuff. by the time i turn in was almost 2am.

DAY EIGHT. 25.11.10

last day in China. another tour to somewhere. Gulangyu and Piano museum. thats what i remember. i dont know what it was either. many special kind of pianos. and we went back to the hotel by speed boat. haha. ikr? rushed to get the team bag with MsLim, Chaoxin and Xinpei because it wasnt enough last night. then board the bus, head to Xiamen airport. everyone was like, CANT WAIT TO GO BACK TO SINGAPORE! i was like, why so happy? i didnt feel anything. i wouldnt mind to stay even longer. and i realize that home was like a living hell for me. others missed their parents and family. and i dont really have anybody to look forward to see. texted sissie to remind uncle to come and fetch me. she replied me that uncle was sick, and couldnt come. i dont know why. and sissie was the one who came, waiting for me and we had to cab home. so i was taking pictures on the plane and watching HowToTrainYourDragon. i screen was too far away, so i cant really see anything, but the good thing is that i watched it before earlier this year. so i kind of know what was happening. the rest of the flight i was taking photos till i get the star. okay, collected our luggage and stuff. Kas were saying the Albert werent coming. i was ofcourse disappointed, but i knew it was a joke. then he'll surprise us later. i like to think that way. then, Xinpei said, if he really didnt come, we'll be even more disappointed. TRUE. so i stopped thinking. only then, Albert called. i saw Kas's mum and Chloe. no sign of Albert. and then he said he's there. he described everything, he saw me, i cant see him. after a while, he appeared. haha. missed him so much. missed his hug like ASDFGHJKL! gave him a very long hug when i got outside. went to find sissie and cabbed home.

OHLO?

2010-11-17T23:32:00.003+08:00

whaddup homies. doing a quick post before i go off to China tomorrow morning.

went to AMKhub to catch Megamind with Qiuheng, Xinpei and Xintien. booked the ticket, had lunch at PepperLunch. and ofcourse, KOI. was a little late for the movie, as we were queuing for KOI, and rushed to the toilet. i swear, it was the most stupid thing to do, running in the mall. haha. but it was fun though.

THE MOVIE WAS AWESOME! Megamind is so cool, even though he has a GIGANTIC BLUE HEAD. haha. the minion was cute. omg, i was sad when the movie ended. Roxanne was so pretty, and her hair is perfect. hahaha.

okay, Qiuheng went off with Jingwen and Megan, the 3 of us went to Albert's. LiarGame straught away. seriously, finished the first season, and so going to watch the second season after i come back from China. anyways, i'm back home now, packing. ikr? so last minute. i just got blamed for throwing tantrum for being so last minute and couldnt find stuff. great. all my fault. i know it was, but i believe that it was not totally mine.

okay, going to continue packing. see you after my China trip okayyyyyy. photo spammmmm. haha. alright, till here. goodbye.

35 Hours

2010-11-16T23:53:00.002+08:00

GOING TO CHINA IN ABOUT 35 HOURS FROM NOW.

and guess whutt. i dont even have a luggage. i havent pack. so i guess i'm going off now. talk about today next time. maybe after the China trip too. kthnxbai.

I Strum Piano

2010-11-14T22:58:00.001+08:00

Kasandra posted this a while ago already, but i havent shared it with you guys. i really enjoyed the time spent there. and i'm so looking forward to go there again. probably this Wednesday, just before we go to China. anyways, there were just so many epic moment within this 8 minutes video.

maybe you guys dont get the Lucy part. Albert wore the blonde wig.

Albert : I look like Lucy.

me : which Lucy?

Albert : I dont know.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL. what he actually meant was those Lucy in movies with short hair. cute brother of mine. HAHA.

alright, went to work today, at Furama's Tiffany buffet with Xinpei and Zhenyang. tired much. but everyone at my station was really friendly. not much to describe, mainly walking up and down. okay, going to Woodlands Primary again tomorrow. early in the morning. bye.

Till The Last Whistle

2010-11-13T23:52:00.003+08:00

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

OKAY, i didnt want to do this spamming of posts all at once. im sorry. Em wants me to post so much. im glad to know that. i really wish i had a fanclub or something that always reads my posts and tag me on my tagboard. hah, impossible. DUH. anyways, Em is a silent reader, she doesnt tag. she tagged me already though. haha. she told me this on Tuesday. okay, so i shall begin my life story.

On a Tuesday morning, i woke up. seriously, why the heck did i wake up so early?!?! training starts at like 9? and i was awake at 7.30. i can do things really slowly, and stare into empty space for years. and i was the first few to reach. pissed off. anyways, i was at school. and it didnt seem like a holiday at all. teachers everywhere, and students too. basically, all the sports CCA except badminton, band and choir were in school. roaming around. like, WHY???? i want to feel like its a holiday. kay, so everyone came, went to the gym, and started our sets. torturing much. it was so long since the last time i did gym. okay, over, ate at S11 with Eden, Qiuheng and Xinpei. downloaded apps for our BlackBerry. Eden introduced this game to us, Bubble Breaker, and we were playing non-stop. i introduced the screen muncher, and the sound effect just aattracted them. and theres this burp sound if you munch a lot, and they were munching the screen till they hear the burp sound. seriously, Xinpei wanted to hear it so much, she did it during take 5, and coach wasnt happy with it. i was using my phone as well, and she didnt say anything to me, but Xinpei. training. and HELL YEAH, I THUNDERED A SPIKE! what we called "DING-DANG". well, it DINGed, but not DANG. ithe DANG never happened before. im so going to make it happen. watch me. :D

Wednesday. i was really tired last night. i dozed off right in front of my laptop. and my laptop were on when i woke up and saw it in front of me. i was shocked that i hadnt turned it off. and only then that i realize that i dozed off while using it. it was on a Youtube page. i was searching for a song. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. okay, it was about 10 when i woke up, and i tried to move. my body starts hurting. knewit. muscle aches. so i lay down and fell asleep. when i was ready to wake up, it was already 12. so i went to shower and head to Albert's house. Kianshen called me and told me that everyone was already there. so when i reach, i BBM-ed Xinpei how to go to his house. she was waiting for me at the playground with Xintien. she just came. Kianshen bluffed me. made me rush there. anywho, we had a really great time. first, we were watching Paranormal Activity. the old one. watched it before, and its kind of confusing. no ghosts, only supernartural stuffs. boring much, expecailly when you watched it before. so after that, we watched Orphan. i think i watched some parts before, but i dont know when. i know that its definitely on HBO. okay, had dinner after the movie. Xinpei and Xintien went back home. free milk tea. kinda forced Kianshen to pay. haha. went back to Albert's. Siewming asked to watch Liar Game. i was like NO! but well, end up watching it. i knew i would get addicted. and yea, i was. i didnt watch the first two episodes, but started with episode 3. and watched till episode 8. watched 6 episodes! WTF? it was like 11.30 when we finally stopped watching. because i was like, one more ep and we go. and after that ep, i was like, one more, half an hour only. it goes on till 11.30, when we were afraid of not having a bus back home. LOL. like seriously, SIEWMING! YOUR FAULT LAHHHHH. reached home at around 12. aunty definitely nagged. she was worried. i know. watched House, then Maggi and Me. ikr? and after that, theres this show with Magic swords and dragons. watched a while, and i realize that i should shower. hah. and i'm here, writing a draft for this post. at, wtf? 3.58am. NONONO. going to sleep naooooooo. before i faint during training tomorrow.

Thursday. today. i just had this difficulty getting out of bed. and therefore i was late for training, once again. i really dont know whats going on with me that makes me late for almost everything. well, it was quite a bad day for me today. since morning and it totally ruined my mood for today. dont want to talk about it. but well, some good moments like, i've thundered a few today. :D

k, i got to charge my BB battery, but still 60 percent left. i have to use till its likw 20 so i wont spoil the battery. and after so long, its stil 40 percent. 2am already. who cares nao.

going to WDP later at 6.30, shall go to sleep. kthnxbai.

SATURDAY. 13.11.10

okay, so i was at Woodlands Primary School yesterday. woke up really early, since i havent been waking up that early for weeks now, its really difficult to get out of bed. went to WDP, and was staring at the kids. thinking that i was once like that. yknow, they're so small sized and not tall, except for a few. wondering if they are smaller than me or because i grew older and they just look small. anyways, MsLim brought us into a classroom and split us up into groups that were supposed to ref for Handball, Captain's Ball or Tag Rugby. i was doing Handball, court 1, with Choonzuan and 2 p4 helpers. Xinpei was doing court 2 with Joshua and Wanxuan, idk whether were there any p4s there. Choonzuan did all the refereeing, and i was slacking. haha. seriously, i dont like refereeing. i cant see anything. except for really obvious ones. felt guilty though. but i dont want! by the last game, he was totally hydrated. HAHA. sweat all over his body. end of morning session games. went down, played volleyball with a few of the alumnis, mostly volleyballers. had free McChicken, by MrMax(Chua). back up for the afternoon session. primary fives. Wanxin came to join court 2. and the two referees, look the same. HAHA. okay, i helped a little in refereeing this time. but didnt do much. i cant see anything. and Choonzuan blows for everything when he's on the opposite side. i was like, whoa? how did you see that. it was right infront of me and i cant see. wasnt meant to be a referee perhaps. HAHA. okay, after the games, debriefed and stuff. minimart with Xinpei, Albert and Wenxuan. walked to CausewayPoint with Albert, and home.

so i was looking forward to sleeping when i was on the bus. when i got home, aunty told me dinner was outside. couldnt contact me. LOL. yea, my phone died at like 2pm. i dont understand why too, because i just charged it in the morning. whatever, went to get something to eat, and back home. and was on the internet, watching V. since i'll be missing the next episode because i'll be in China. cant stop, sissie loaded it so when the internet goes off, we've got something to watch. so we were watching till like 1am? and i realize i had circuit training in the morning. quickly to bed, with my hair not dried.

snoozed my alarm for like 4 times till sissie got really irritated. went to school, did circuit and stuff. nearly died. LOLOLOL. hahahah. okay, lunch, back to school. sec 4 seniors and Qianwen came back. and not only them, Chongwei and Mingyeow too. at first i didnt know that he was Mingyeow, but i think he resembles Minghwee, which Xinpei totally disagree. Mingyeow used to look exactly like Minghwee now. ahha. anyways, played set games all the way. werent very happy when i didnt get to spike for the last set. like out of 10 balls, i got only 1. maybe im paranoid. because to me, i think some balls are easier to give me than any other positions, but it didnt come to me. and its alot. is it paranoid? idk. but im way too sensitive to think the positive way.

came home, didnt go for WBA. was too tired. and id rather come back home, considering to do my homework. but i guess i procrastinated again. working tomorrow. meeting Xinpei and Xhenyang at 5.45 tmr. going to dieeeee.

last but not least, my apologies for my behaviour for the previous trainings, especially Thursday's. i was upset with almost everything on Earth. i blamed myself and in my heart, a few of you guys. i totally am guilty for it. i cried, not because i had to, but i cant control it and gravity is not to be blamed. i hope you know that i've been trying to stop this bad habit that have been affecting all of you all this while. i havent been a good senior for the juniors, and a good teammate for the team. my face are not very encouraging during those times, infact, discouraging. i hope you dont get mad at me too. im sorry.

Cover It With Lipstick

2010-11-07T23:50:00.005+08:00

heyheyhey. back right here. didnt update much, and many things going on.

Saturday, training blahblahblah.

Sunday, HALLOWEEN. went to Xiaojun's to dress up. Xinpei was already there. okay, went out as soon as we got dressed and done with the make up. walking door to door is sure tiring. seriously, i hear too much of "chilly girls” as we go on. maybe how we dressed. i think Xiaojun and Xinpei, not me. haha. okay, tired, back to Xiaojun’s condo, wasted our time at the playground. Hongye came and join us later. taught Xiaojun and me how to dance to some k-pops. many. haha. okay, had supper and overnight at Xiaojun’s. woke up, went home, and its,

Monday. showered and to RP, studying with Maria, Sheela and Xinpei. Maria really couldnt take it and went home first. we didnt really do much either. especially me, i was playing games on Sheela’s iTouch. sighs. honestly, until now, none of my homework is done. and i have only until 18 of November to finish because i’ll be going to China. OMG, help me help me! k, went to CausewayPoint, met Emily, and came home together.

Tuesday, training. funnnn. from 5.30pm till 9pm. i love night trainings. really much. i really like it when we were training, and the sky is dark. no idea why, just like it. okay, a few seniors came back. funnnn.

Wednesday, went to meet Hongye and Patrick at CausewayPoint, went to Hongye’s. he taught me some new moves. Xinpei came, all of us went to SakaeSushi together. i dont think i ate too much that i vomit, but it was the ice cream. cos i tried both Mango and Brownie. ran to the toilet during payment. vomitted the ice cream. felt a whole lot better. alright, back home, to GLEE. showered, and i watched TheCuriousCaseOfBenjaminButton. it took like 3 hours? and i slept at around 4am. nice huh?

Thursday, woke up late, therefore i was late for training. Kelly was late too. haha. wasnt really happy during the first half of training, but the second half was alright. back home. on my favourite Thursday night show, V. continued my night with NightAtTheMusuem2. i know, i watched it before with teammies, but i just dont feel like sleeping yet. the movie was over at 2.30, and i dont know what was i doing, and i went to bed at 3.

Friday, went shopping with sissie. first stop was Somerset313. the big Forever21 with 4 storey. i really wanted something in there, but i end up getting only one piece. sucks right? I know. at Uniqlo, another piece, and we went to Bugis. another one more piece. and a pair of Rubi shoes, FOR WORK. i wanted a few for myself, but no, i think i’ve spent enough. sissie overspent too. had PepperLunch for dinner. came home to check what we’ve bought, and i realize that its not a lot at all. whywhywhy.

Saturday, training cancelled, no WBA, went to meet Penghui at the interchange, bus-ed to HarbourFront, met Alan, Coco, Jeff and Karno at GV. caught Into The Fire. TOP was so cute. haha. diediediediediedie. ASDFGHRFGTFHUSD!!!!!! okay, enough. had lunch at SecretRecipe. Alan paid for it. hah. Ben & Jerry, Jeff paid for it. felt a little guilty, was supposed to share ONE with Penghui, but misunderstanding made him order 2. SORRY. Farrhan came. so we were walking around VivoCity. Coco really felt bad for not going to church. and everybody was like, God will forgive you, its better for you not to go than to be late ( because they will ask where did you go? - answer : movie with friends? @#$%^& ) and stuff like that. but she went off with Alan early anyways. oh yea, they’re together now. just this morning, according to Penghui. went up to the rooftop, walked in the water with Farrhan while Penghui was emo-ing at the side. haha. ROLF, i think she doesnt want to get her jeans wet. Karno went to take pictures, at i dont know where. LOL. okay, bus-ed back home. took bus at 8.30, and reached Woodlands interchange at 10. nice huh? ONE AND A HALF HOUR IN THE BUS THAT IS FRIGGING COLD. makes me want to pee so much. and everyone was talking about this thunder in Woodlands, but i was at HarbourFront then. some described it as the loudest ever heard. i really wanted to hear. k, back home. so i was watching VampireDiaries and Reaper on channel 5, caught on StarWorld before, but i have nothing better to do. haha. i keep watching movies over and over again. so i showered, and watched HannahMontanaTheMovie for the sixth time in my life. haha. ikr?

Sunday, went to Hongye's house. planned to go singing k. no room. :( movie is too expensive on weekends. so we were at Hongye's, dancing. haha. had chicken egg rice? for dinner and shopping at CausewayPoint a while.

THIS IS A GOOD ANGLE

2010-10-29T23:51:00.004+08:00

awesome awesome time today. pooling with Albert, Kianshen, Minghwee, Siewming, Xinpei and Xintien at Safra Yishun. Kianshen and Minghwee were there like, long ago before we came. played a few games, but the thing i played most was Albert's itouch. i know right? i just want it so much. one day, soon, i'm going to buy it when ive earned enough. i dare not ask from daddy or mummy. i feel that ive been asking for too much when i dont really deserve it. anyways, for a moment, i felt like a 'pool pro' as i was playing with the angles, and all went in. consecutive 4 balls, straight in. like, not slowly. but well, it lasted for only one game. ofcourse, that game i won. the other games, i dont know. there was one, i was about to win! and follow through. totally 'sian'. Minghwee left first. like very early. busy guy.

so it was like time for us to leave, got stuck in Safra for a while as it was like raining, very heavily. decided to take a bus when it was drizzling. while walking to the bus stop, Xinpei couldnt find her handphone. so the 2 gentlemen, Albert and Kianshen ran back to where we were just now, and came back. Xinpei got to thank them like !@#$%^&*(). HAHAH. joking. she wasnt even worried. LOL. continued to the bus stop. at the bus stop. waited for damn long. wondering why is the bus taking so long to come. looked at the notice board, bus number was NR1? something like that. we were totally pissed. waited for so long and WTH were we waiting for? okay, so we walked back to NorthPoint. bought Subway for dinner. and to Albert's house. he's now my younger brother. :) HAHAHAHHAHAH. so we ate and did many things. Kasandra and Xintien started this parody videos like a few days ago, and we wanted to do it too. you know, like the background are alway funnier. Albert, always so epic. haha. so did a few videos before coming home.

okay. going to Woodlands Primary for SC meeting tomorrow in the morning, and to school for training in the afternoon. going to UWC for wheelchair basketball in the evening. hmmmmmmmmmm. going to be damn tired.

oh shit, havent passed the money to MsLim. ah, going to dig out my piggy bank now. ofcourse not my own money. cant fork out that much by myself. i'm glad that its going to be fully funded by daddy. :)

alright people, till here. bye.

Last Day

2010-10-28T23:38:00.008+08:00

last day of school for year 2010 is here and gone. im so going to miss it. i swear, SEC 3 HAS BEEN THE MOST ENJOYABLE YEAR for me so far. but i think ive been enjoying too much, and neglected my studies. my results suck. even though ive improved one grade, but its still Cs. the only A i got was Art. i know right. maybe because it was my goal. if i were to target it this high for every subject, perhaps it woudnt end up this way. i could have gotten at least a B.

sighs. anyways, i'll try to make use of this holiday. just hope that its not only words that came out of my mouth, but real. okay, spent the first hour of the day in the hall, listening to HODs and Principals. recess, then MrsKok, came to our class for a talk. well, she was at 3E3 Zenith for about half an hour before coming to our class. okay, a little motivational, but i dont know how long it will last for me. anywho, i will try to make it last longer myself. idk how though.

Physics a while, form teacher's period, to end our 2010 school days. not really fun, MdmChan wasnt in class. :( thats the major one that i really hate. i wanted her to be there with us when we end the year 2010 in WRS. screw 'O' level. so i went down to deliver ice cream that we had to do for the fund raising. delivered to 3 Vivacious, thats right, my own class. but MdmSaratha just wont let us have it till we stack the tables and chairs behind the class. and clear the stuff in the cupboard behind. AND down to the canteen. finally we had it. at least it wasnt totally watery. well, for some, it was. and to end it all, MdmSaratha passed some of us a black apple. like yeahhh. damn nice. sad for those who didnt get it.

okay, stayed back. Xinpei and i was crapping with Farhan, Maria and Rasyidah till we had to go up to the hall. to arrange the chairs for secondary one parent's night. okay, done, rest. outdoors training. and the sun really pissed me off like !@#$%^&*(). i was really enjoying training when the sun goes down. school getting more crowded, with cars by 7, i parade square was full of cars, and people walking up to the hall. okay, stopped training when the sky was getting dark. duh, we cant see the ball. the school should have outdoor lights. it would be great.

Purple

2010-10-20T23:00:00.006+08:00

TUMBLR TURNED PURPLE TODAY, as it is 20th of October 2010, tumblr will honour the 6 gay teens who recently committed suicide due to harassment and homophobic abuse in their homes and at their schools.

alright, school was boring as usual. slept in almost all the class, and MrsChuah came into class to mark our papers. haha. so we've gotten like, half an hour of free period, just dont make too much noise, its fine. so most of us were sleeping. ikr? we're all tired. well, i fucking passed my Geography! not as good marks, but well, some didnt manage to pass. like Jonathan, who did not study! i studied my ass out, and this is all ive gotten. its last minute, cant say anything else.

wokay, nothing else, goodbye.

Tonight

2010-10-19T23:21:00.004+08:00

GOODBYE TO THE INDONS. :(

went to school today, went to class, marked my attendance, and down to the canteen with teammates. board the bus and head to ACRES. kay, introduction was boring. cut a few plastic bottles for some turtles. had lunch, vegetarian but there's egg. hmmmm, whats that? haha. whatever.

okay, next, we were plucking weeds. fun much? itchy like #(*$&%&*@. ants everywhere. i cant wait to shower! so we were sweating and scratching ourselves while waiting for the bus to return to school.

finally we reached school. wanted to shower, chatted a while. Xinpei didnt bring a towel so we were searching for one that she can use. Yingjie's. so by the time we want to shower, the cleaner aunties were washing the toilet. Alison were waiting too. so we waited a while, and the cleaner aunty decided to open the art block toilet for us to shower. haha. quite scared at first, but it was nothing. plus, i was blasting music all the way. i actually like that toilet already. why must they lock it?!?!

went up to the hall to discuss about the fund raising. hmm, a little progress, hope that itll be successful. okay, played volleyball a while, sweat again. and then, BBQ time. played a few games, ate, and performance. volleyballers danced Abracadabra again. its the only dance all of us know. werent prepared at all. forgotten some steps. but as expected, it was louder when we 'shake'. gave them the friendship bands we made.

alright, quite sad when they have to leave. :( hugged Rindo like uhm, i lost count. stood by the bus till it leaves, waving.

okay, cleared the place, and came home with Sheela, Emily, Jiawei, Naresh. the four of us took the same bus thats why. were separated with Jonathan, Zhigang, Shangwei by the time we got to Admiralty.

alright, till here. goodbye.

Dont Want An Ending

2010-10-18T22:33:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELLY TAN KAILI

Monday is here again uh. and its over. hah. first lesson was PE. as told, the Indonesian exchange students would be joining our PE lesson. okay, played basketball as usual. still boring, idk why. gotten most of the papers back to check. i didnt expect myself to do so badly even though i passed. i expected more. but i have been burning midnight oil, so i guess its not going to work. cant this anymore. i really regretted not studying regularly in the first place. no one else to blame. so i shall say i deserved it. lets not talk about art. i've lost all hope in topping the class. being the best art student. it flew away. with a few word from MsNur.

went to CausewayPoint with Xinpei, chatted till almost 7. back home. had dinner, watched Daredevil on channel 5 for the third time. boring, but i have nothing better to do. so not in the mood to study yet. exams are just over. who will?

i fear i will be saying this till O's are right in front of me. Weikeong just alerted me that Chemistry is going to be very difficult next year. i know, i didnt score quite well for this paper, only in topical quizzes. and what will happen next year? i cant imagine.

anyways, going to ACRES with the Indonesian exchange students and 8 other volleyballers tomorrow. seeing animals. Xinpei was really excited. i had no feeling. BBQ at night too.

alright, i shall go now. my eyes hurt. hope that its not from the crying.

Cry Out Soft

2010-10-17T23:29:00.002+08:00

yesterday, had training. the second one and my body still hurt from the first one. i had to endure. i know, i want to be the best, I HAVE TO BE. the only thing pulling me down are my emotions. i have no idea why a small incident can be a big flow to me. i cried thrice within two hours. you have no idea what i felt. im too emotional. MsLim said this year during NorthZone that im the most emotional player she has ever met. i dont want to be that person. i have to control myself. still trying. im not giving up. its hard, but i have to keep on trying. many have been encouraging me through this and im thankful for that. and i hope you guys are not giving up on me either. I REALIZE THAT I COULD DO BETTER WHEN IM IN A BETTER MOOD. so there is no reason at all for me to cry. nobody want to see my tear. gravity shouldnt be the reason anymore. breaking down doesnt solve anything. other than my emotions, i think everything else is doing well. dismissed at around 4.30, wash up and stuff, head to UWC right after.

WBL finals. no idea why i went, mine was already over. haha. but one reason Darren gave me, eat. haha. there was a buffet. ikr? so i was watching the games. some basketballers from Jurong West Sec i guess, were watching too. occupied the seats at the side, which have the perfect view. i end up sitting beside the rubbish bin, its the only place left with nice view. haha. okay, ate the food buffet provided. haha. ate only 2 pieces of fish with tartar sauce. nice, but i wasnt that hungry. wasted right. hahhh. prize giving ceremony and stuff. was the photographer then. didnt receive any medal. :( then Daniel gave me his. ROFL. and his wind breaker too. lend it. i know he wants it back. haha. came home with PengHui on her friend's car, who dropped us at Woodlands interchange, and we bus-ed home. earliest ever. everyone is like, why you home so early? LOL. explained it like idk how many times, i lost count.

okay, wanted to sleep a little longer today, but sissie is up early cos she had tuition. then i was up too. darn it. couldve slept longer. watched THE LAST AIR BENDER in the afternoon, and went for dinner with sissie at CausewayPoint, PastaMania. shopped a while. felt good splurging on something. haha. till here. goodbye.

ps, i'm still looking forward to the next training. IM SERIOUS.

You'd Miss Me

2010-10-16T23:13:00.003+08:00

SORRY FOR MAJOR LACK OF UPDATES

15 October 2010.

well, M BACK. missed me? i really dont know why i didnt feel like updating these few days. too tired perhaps. OKAY, EXAMS ARE OVER! basically, i dont really have anything to do now. watching movies in the net, facebook, tumblr and stuff, but i dont really miss blogger that much. i dont know why the hell too. anyways, i gotta update. she cant be dead. ALRIGHT, READY TO READ? here we go.

so it has been about 3 weeks since i last updated. September was definitely busy for me. it was when i realize i have to study. End Of Year is fucking fast and i obviously want to do better. seniors have been telling me to study now so i dont have to rush next year, and i was like, i know, but i didnt do it. fuck my life okay? i screwed it. rushing the last few weeks, spending my life at ReplublicPoly and McDonald's with Emily, Xinpei, Sheela, Maria, Jasmine and Alicia. well, not all of them at one time. i think i helped a lot. but not as much as we can if we didnt chit chat too much. hah. at least it was better than staying at home, seeing the maid's face and Rascal running around and into my room when there's a thunder. AND WORSE, KIMBERLEY'S CRYING AND SCREAMING. i dont know why, but i have low patience level these days. i got really irritated with small kids easily. i just shouted at Kimberley today. for the first time. she just wont shut up! and you know, Kimberley doesnt know how to speak yet, she just speaks baby language. i tried replying to her in, idk what language either, and she just keep on repeating the same thing. i was fucking irritated. i really dont know what went through my mind, i just shouted at her. and she still wont shut up! so i ignored her. and she start hitting me. so i got totally pissed, shouted till the maid had to take her away. glad much. haha.

talking about volleyball, training resume. i was happy, but now im having body aches. great? it will feel much better when its gone. you know, SHIOK. haha. alright, the overseas trip has been confirmed. we're going to XIAMEN and then to Zhangzhou, on the 18th of November, till the 25th. excited much. but sad that some wont be able to come along due to their personal reasons. many of the deserving ones werent able to go. k, whatever, im going! hahahaha. think on the positive side right? it didnt really affect me much though. after all, those who are going are in the same team as me. why not happy? right? hah.

oh yea, havent told you that i've got a new maid? have i? i'm lazy to browse through the old posts. anyways, she really irritates the shit out of me. can she be anymore dumber? i hate everything about her. her face, her voice, her hair, her name, her height, her attitude, her eyes, her nose, her lips, her feet, her hands, fingers, and nails. i really have no idea why aunty chose her. she's ugly. her voice is rough. and she's crazy! theres this time i heard her talking to herself? and totally didnt see me. she was blocking the way, and a maid should make way, right? she stood there, not miving. so i stared at her. i didnt even want to call her name. it disgusts the hell out. okay, i think i have things against maids. indonesian maids. Sue, the second one was the best. first was Yeni. she sucked. i hated her to the core. she stole my stuff, and accused me for stealing hers. like, i've got money, why do i have to steal a maid's stuff. after all, it was the maid's! urghh, i really dont get her. when Sue's younger sister, Liz came to work for us, i really didnt like her, but not as much as Yeni. she's friendly though. i dont know why. and when Liz have to go back to Indonesia to take care of her son, Amy came. okay, she's the worse! oh, and she looks a little like Yeni. just that she's smaller and doesnt have the big mole on her face. okay, currently she's still working for us. not yet 3 months. i think after three months, something is going to happen. she's going to run to the police telling that we've abused her. well, she does that twice already. her previous one was a slap from her employer. i dont know how true, but i think she deserves it. totally. i sometimes wished to do it too. she spoiled too many shirts of sissie's. okay, sissie's not angry but im angry for her. why sia? if it was me, i would have thrown tantrums and this house wouldve collapse. it was her Badminton t-shirt, and her sec 4 class tee. like,WTF? SEC FOUR! she turned the collar pink, and sissie's name were scraped off, when Liz have never scraped off any shirt's printing. staining is obvious. but seriously, AMY IS TOO MUCH. i suspect her for poisoning me too. i've gotten diarrhea too often since she's here! it was obvious that only me, in the house that hates her. i always make her get scolded by aunty. and there's this time, after a scolding from aunty, she went into the kitchen, quiet. i thought she was sad. i kind of pitied her, but guess what. she was laughing to herself! i told you she was crazy. talking about her gave me goosebumps. enough about her.

okay, exams. hmmm, i screwed Physics like fuck. it wasnt difficult, but i didnt study enough. and many for other subjects too. i really dont know which was the easiest paper this year. i, kind of prepared to get low marks. im expecting the highest from art. i have to top it. im going to walk up the stage this year. watch me!

school will be closing in another 2 weeks time. and after that, we're left with only a year in WoodlandsRingSec. i have to cherish it. sissie have just graduated from Yishun Sec. i dont know why isnt she crying, she's still singing! haha. i really dont get it why they graduate even before they even take their O Levels. well, this is how it works. haha. just felt that it doesnt make sense, thats all.

i feel like i have so many things to tell you guys, but i cant think of anymore. till here. bye.

It Just Feel So Right

2010-09-24T22:50:00.001+08:00

its friday again! what i wanted to do today was to sleep but unfortunately when i came home, 2 stranger was in my house drilling holes. dust all over the floor. yes, aunty just got a new air-conditioner fitted in every room. so i was watching movies on the net and stuff. getting bored of tumblr, idk why. i think i saw too many of the same photos. will check it out later.

another weekend approaches.wednesday, had a boring assembly period. not being racist or stuff, malay students dreesing up, doing an act on HariRaya. boring like %^$%* i was like, ive seen that, real one. and most of the people would have already seen it too. at a friend's house or somewhere. their act was fake. at a funeral, they were smiling and giggling. so fake, and ther werent any learning point for me.i think they ran out of programmes for assembly. or maybe make it more interesting please? AMaths extra lesson after school till 4. started on binomial. this term AMath topics were way too much harder than the previous terms. i start to suck more. sighs. k, whatever, i shall start mugging like the others are doing right now.

okay, Thursday. had oral exam after school. i was nervous at first. i was first in the line! gosh, i thought i was going fail badly. but gues what, not so bad after all. it was MsGomez we got. hmm, seriously, I WAS GOING TO DIEIEIEIEIEIE. okay, she just gave me way too many questions. among all those who went up first, i was the last one to leave. like, WHY AM I STUCK THERE SO LONG?!?! worried me a lot, but at least i answered all the questions. should be a good news right. haaaa.

okay, today. i was trying to stay focused in class, but it was my eyes that made me lose focus. yea, you know it, i was dozing off in class. alright, that was AMaths class. as for Social Studies and Chemistry was fine. but i just fell asleep during MotherTongue. couldnt help it, there were no lesson going on. well, i was woken up by MrPoh in the first period, then wheh he left, i obviously went back to my dream. went to have KFC with Xinpei and Xintien. came back home. wanted to head for a shower, 2 stranger were in the house fixing the wires. got no choice, had to sit outside and do nothing. cant sleep too though. sighs. had dinner at Banquet with sissie just now, came home.

okay, Goegraphy extra lesson tomorrow. i'll try to turn in early tonight. weird huh, its a FRIDAY NIGHT. till here. goodbye.

Go Away You Brown Malay

2010-09-21T16:29:00.001+08:00

you have no idea how much i miss this space but was just too tired to type long paragraphs. have been more crazy on tumblr nowadays. its easy, just a button and youre done with a picture you like. how i wish blogger works that way too.

well, i think my blog havent recieved much visitor. the counter doesnt seem to move up by alot.

k, so for the last 9 days, i havent been posting, i dont know whats going on in my life. all i know is exams are coming in lesser than 2 weeks time. shall start working hard now.

from my memory, holidays are over, first day havent been more dreadful. carried on the whole week by sleeping in most of the lessons. nobody's going to be surprised. haa. oh yea, not forgetting to mention that Xinpei and i went down to get our pay. was so excited when we saw the money. but ours were just a hundred, while some other people who went to get their pay have gotten a few hundred. really dont wish to compare. at least, with our own hardwork, we gained this money. daddy's going to be so proud of me. :D just cant wait for the day that my mother is going to double the amount for me. she's going to give me the same amount i earned, so im going to have more monehhh. dont get green eyes k. alright, that was monday. tuesday, wednesday, thursday was a memory loss for me. what did i do? hmmmm, forgotten. okay. friday came. was so thankful for that. short day. haaaaaa. went for lunch with Xinpei and Xintien at MegaFoodMall. okay, it doesnt sound better than Horizon to me. k, whatever. ate, chatted a while, time to get back home. so i was at home, and fell asleep from about 4, till dinner. didnt know why was i so tired.

Saturday. spent another half a day sleeping. not surprised either. watched Eclipse, then went to meet Jiajing, bus-ed to UWC. we had dinner with Penghui and Darren. then to UWC. actually i expected many people, but no, not a lot turned up. okay, i saw this volleyball being stuck on the wall, successfully got it down. so we were playing volleyball, and 2 girls came to join us. i think they play volleyball for school PE. they know diggin and setting. but they couldnt get the actions out right. so yea, most probably. didnt really like them joining us though, not that i dont like them, but they dont know how to play, we end up picking up the balls more than we actually play. but well, cant really control the ball too, the ball was too small. i think primary school size. 4 i think? anyways, it wasnt an excuse. i just dont like people looking down on my volleyball skills. i didnt say i was a professional player or anything, but at least i dont suck. i'm good enough to play for the school, so i really dont like to hear someone saying that im not good. im above average, its more than okay.

Sunday, was at home! bt out for dinner. had Subway with sissie at SSC. came home, and i havent complete my assignment! like dammit, so i was doing AMaths till 3.30 am, and i didnt feel sleepy but i had to sleep. aunty was naggin about the lights on for too long. hurrrr, so i went to bed. i know i was going to sleep in lessons again, so to prevent that, i brought a can of NESCAFE. haha, was awake throughout the day. maybe its the reason why im so tired now. alright, i got to go. piles of work waiting for me.

one teacher in the world that who asked that i hate the most, i think there will finally be someone on the list.

till here, goodbye.

How Now Brown Cow Bow Down Count Down

2010-09-12T01:39:00.002+08:00

whats up earthlings. i am so high right now. the internet is still connected! normally by now i will be pissed off like shit.

okay, FRIDAY. was supposed to go to the library with Xinpei. and she was already at CausewayPoint, when she thought that its HariRaya, public holiday, the library will be closed. she didnt check, and she told me its public holiday. so she suggested to go to RepublicPoly instead. fine with me, its just 2 stops away from my house. so we were studying, doing our AMaths worksheet. Xinpei got bored and start sms-ing people with my phone. not very fun until she texted Alphonsus. lazy of typing, called him. loudspeaker. and you know, RP is quiet. when he mentioned something wrong, the whole place definitely heard him. Xinpei laughed really hard. LOL. had funnn...for only this part. it was actually not my day at all even though my left eye keep jerking. something good is supposed to happen. but guess what. everything didnt go my way. firstly, its the day of the month. i was PMS-ed. and top of it, i stained my shorts like a lot. pissed off so much. second, my slippers. DONT BUY COTTON ON SLIPPERS! the left side torn into half. like, how the hell it happened? i really have no idea. so i walked out to the bus stop with half my feet on the floor. almost barefoot. so i was waiting for the bus. i missed one as i didnt want to run after the bas and make it obvious that my slipper tore, so ive decided to wait for the next one. waited for like uhmm, 20 minutes? finally one came. FULL. FULL OF BANGLA! waited for another 15 minutes. finally. and still, the bus has many Banglas. like seriously, its HariRaya, and i can hardly find Malays on the bus.

k, m glad i got home.

so today, did nothing but youtubing and tumblr until i went out for WBA. PMS-ed in the game. just felt so irritated when someone blocks my wheel. and there's this uncle, not racist, but he's there, and blocked my wheel. so i cant move. struggled a while, and then he was like, "HAHA, NOT GOING TO LET YOU MOVE. YOU TRY LAH, HAHA, CANNOT."

FUCK LAH! because he's handicapped, and older, i didnt do anything. k, fineeeee. came home.

PS. IM IN LOVE WITH DARREN'S NEW HAIR. (JAY PARK'S)

SENTA-O-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

2010-09-09T23:32:00.003+08:00

time flies. its going to be friday soon. and school's going to resume. i just hate it so much that i havent been doing anything useful enough this holiday.

let me talk about Tuesday. went to Sentosa for Shuiyuan's and Shangwei's birthday, but not celebration. just a trip. woke up earlier than i could normally, and went to CausewayPoint. reached at 8.55, supposed to meet them at 9. sso i went up the escalator, nobody i know was at BNS, neither Breadtalk. like, how can everybody possibly be exactly on time? like, nobody's early? went down to see whether anyone's at McDonald's. no again. went up, saw Xinpei. so we were waiting. and well, she said we're meeting at Breadtalk. actually, BNS. ROFL. okay, so we were waiting for nobody. okay, skip this part, headed to Habourfront. bought stuff at Gaint, then to Sentosa. tell you whut, many beach volleyball courts uh! was trying really hard to get a volleyball ball. went in and out the water a few times, running to the shelter to get food too, before we finally got a volleyball ball. the court is not a problem. so we played a while, everyone's getting bored, but not me. i just wanted to play beach volleyball. i swear, this was the first time i play volleyball at the beach, with a proper net set up. okay, back to the water again. guys getting bored, went to get a kayak. so i was sitting in the front of Maria and Rasyidah. so they went really far, and definitely, it DEEP. okay, so Rasyidah wanted to try swimming in the deep, ofcourse with the life vest, she wont die. Zhigang took her place, me still in front, and we went far, again. near the limit line. beyond it, so going to be dangerous. cant come back or something, there are breakwaters every like say, 10m? okay, we were trying to turn around when the waves are getting stronger, and Zhigang tried this backwards paddle. immediately capsized. Maria was the only one with life vest, lucky her. i was struggling and hanging on to a flipped boat. just had this thought that something will pull me down or something. waited for Xinpei and Zhonhao to come to the rescue, just so far away. hmmm, at least they helped. heeeee. okay, im glad that im alive to tell you guys this, never go out there without a life vest. trust me, its traumatising. might not be this lucky next time, so get a life vest! i can see Sheela and Emily from far, looking worried. played volleyball again, washed up and uhm, to Vivocity. some went home first. and we went for dinner at Banquet, bought some stuff at CandyEmpire. train-ed back. got off at Admiralty. Jiawei is too cute okay. sec one girls are falling for him. my gosh, especially when heblushes. haha. okay, came home.

WEDNESDAY WAS A TOTAL BOREDOM. i had to design the rubish bin for the rubbish bin project. sighs, i really didnt have a proper design. and i stayed up till 4, trying to complete the only picture i've been working on. FML LAH!

so i cant wake up today, to go to the library to book for a table. by the time i was at the library, all the tables were occupied. finally one, and then poeple came to ask me whether they can join. i just nod, and they sat. was so glad when Chaoyi came, atleast im not alone. the mother and son left their thingss at the table and disappeared when Xinpei came. so we jsut sat there. hah. ate at McDonald's and left Chaoyi alone. he wasnt hungry. haha. okay, nothing else. spamming TUMBLR. check it out someday alright. goodbye.

ps. WHATS WITH THE DOGBARKS?