this is driving me crazy. the internet is just off earlier and earlier everyday. it was 12, and now it 11.55. then sooner itll be 11.50, the 11.45 then eventually, i dont need to use the internet anymore.

about yesterday, went to school for training. uncle drove me to school. oh well, i thought i was late, but i was uber early. saw Coach, MsLim, Chaoxin, Xinpei and Yingjie. coach was like, "why are you so late? morning training you know? training over already leh. afternoon is sec ones. join them lor.v" and all of them stared at me. i knew it was a prank. i was like, " no ah, Chaoxin never sms me what. its afternoon. Xinpei also still in her cullotes. dont lie lah." okay, they were like, really, serious and all. so i took out my phone, check the text again. no changes. they were laughing then. changes, training starts at 2.30. i was more than an hour early. so we were chatting. a while, Huili came. i think about 1.30. coach used the same trick. she was even more shocked than i was. actually, she totally believed her. and she almost cried. okay, her tears were at the brim of her eyes. well, she was the last one to be tricked. i was the first.

so we sat there, and theres a car, parking. coach said Janice was driving. MsLim didnt know which Janice. okay, Janice, our senior! she's driving! OMFG. jealous jealous. okay, coach's team came too. they were sharing the hall with us. i didnt do well today. my spiking sucked. like so much okay? i cant thunder any. only straight balls. that aint good enough. i dont hear "nice ball" or "hao qiu" while there were so many for the others. but i strongly disagree with some balls. not mentioning the spiker, that ball she spiked was way uglier than mine, but i hear two or three people saying "hao qiu", while my best spike of today was not even complimented once. i believe mine was much nicer. it would be nice to hear someone complimenting you. okay, despite the suckiness of my performance today, i didnt cry, as said. i think i shall say this to myself everytime before training. its going to help me, and my teammates a lot. alright, its not the end of the world. there is still time for me to do better.

ps, i feel really discouraged.

went to UWC for WBA once again. after 2 weeks. and hell yeah, theres air-con once again! haha. but guess what, theres no light. in the toilet. i was fucking urgent, and the the lights simply just ignore me. but it was blardy cold in there. i want to go in and chill a while, but i dare not. its so creepy, the walk way to the cubicles are just too long. plus, IM ALONE. so i decided not to go, but head straight to the hall. okay, 13 people. 2 teams, 3 subs. HAHA,tired much. i was controlling my bladder like omg. when my wheelchair bangs into another wheelchair, i really needed the toilet! okay, i was glad when i was subbed out. head straight to the toilet that has no lights, i walked half way, and i had goose pimples on my arms. turned back, and into the hall. thank god Karno was subbed out. so he accompanied me to the toilet. well, there's another toilet behind which was not air-conditioned.apparently i dont know where it is. so he brought me there. finally, relieved and relaxed. back into the hall, chatted a while, and i was back into the game. played till its time. wanted to change my shirt, i had Farrhan accompanying me to the toilet with light, but there were so many green beetles. and he was scaring me with those. i actually screamed. it looked so digusting lah can? its green! omgomgomg. so i didnt change.

asked the cousins to send me to Woodlands like that day that Penghui didnt come. yea, she didnt come again last night, and i had them sending me. so nice of them huh? :D so i was playing games on Karno's iPhone, while Farrhan smiled to his phone. ROFL. we were hungry, went to BurgerKing when we got down at Woodlands. but, only Farrhan got something to eat. i was too lazy to queue, so i bought onion rings from Farrhan, but i havent paid him yet. oops. teehee. oh well, good thing they didnt miss the last bus. :D

seriously, i hear more compliments at UWC than in WRS. to be honest, i havent heard any compliments (to me) from my teammates in months. not counting seniors and coach. i definitely felt good when Tiffany mentioned my name as one of the improved ones. well, she did say and many of the others. but the thing is, my name was mentioned. as for wheelchair basketball, even though i know im not as good as the older players, they always have "nice ball", "good ball", "good shot", "good pass", "nice try" and anything positive. and some would even say my name. that makes me smile. you see, my teammates have been with me for at least two years now, at least thrice every week (if not counting every recess and lunch break we had together), and i see WBA people for only once a week, sometimes two weeks and i know them for only less than a year. yet they can make me feel proud about myself. okay, is this being too sensitive? i just need my teammate to feel good about me, having me as a part of the team. sometimes i just felt that you are not complimenting me on purpose, and complimenting an ugly ball that was spiked after mine. it happened a few times. was i thinking too much or is it real? okay, i shall not say it anymore. i just need to get it out. i dare not voice it out, so i think i shall do it here, since translucent-ironies aint that popular and she my online best friend. she listens to all my problems and kept it until i delete it from her memory. she tells everybody what i allow her to tell, and kept secrets if i told her to keep it. she is indeed my real friend.

alright, i shall go and get my homework done. i'll blog again tonight if i complete my homework and theres still time. :D

ps, you know, i'll be there for you.