A year older, a year wiser. Well, fuck that shit. A birthdate is just another day that indicates the day of the year that you came out of your mother's vagina, and isn't something to be celebrated, but to go up to your mother and thank her for going through such terror to bring you to life.

But well, I do feel that it is a special day for that particular person. Which brings me to a personal mental debate. I do want to celebrate, but its the day that my mother literally hurt the most. Anywho, it is still one of the days I hate to spend alone.

To begin the catastrophe of my birthday that does not have anything to do with the tearing and bleeding of my mother's, mom and dad goes to China. Sister has got some seminar at some hotel with her class. My best friend is in Singapore. I do not have a lot of close friends here.

But to elaborate further, the beginning of my 19th year did not start off very well. It basically sucked. The 24 hours of 15th March have never felt so long. The first time ever, I want it soon over. I had a few spending their time with me, and I am thankful for that. But it still doesn't feel right. And I know the person I needed most right then was my one and only bestfriend.

As some who know would say, my life was like a series of dramatic movies of a tragic sub-genre. Just within a day itself, I've come across so many issues that could have killed someone like me (not literally). Some new, and some have been piled up only to collapse today.

At the end of the day, my eyelids were not able to fold and my eyeballs could not withstand air.

If I were to go through all these during the time that I expected to be the most happy, I wish life is fair, compensate me with the rest of the year.

I do not expect people to go all sorry and pity on me, because I know I'm not the unluckiest person in the world, and there is so many more that experiences much worse. Sometimes, I just find it easier to put it in words than having someone staring in my face and frown, trying to understand what I'm trying to say.